VIII : Dark And Appealing

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Selena's POV

She wanted to kiss me. I had never thought someone would ever want to kiss someone like me. I was so relaxed when she played with her fingers on my sensitive skin. She had taken me to a safe world, a world without worries and without responsibilities. Until she raised my chin and I was stupid enough to think she would trace the skin of the throat with her soft fingertips again. Instead her hand stayed on the same place, as I felt her observing me. And I felt my heart speeding the moment I felt her breath in my face. She was going to kiss me. She was actually going to kiss me. Gone was the relaxed world and I felt my anxieties taking over. I pictured her beautiful face this close to me. It was actually happening. I could feel her lips touch mine with an attempt to make mine dance with hers. I could feel my lips play along for just a slight second, until it became too much.

I opened my eyes and blinked. A scared breath left my lungs. Her face was so close to me, it made me so nervous. She fluttered with her eyelids and looked down, closing her mouth. She cleared her throat and let go of my chin. I felt sorry for stopping her. I didn't even know why I stopped her. I wanted to kiss her so badly and I threw away my chance. I disappointedly looked at my fidgeting fingers. It was quiet for a moment. She sat down next to me and pulled her hair over one shoulder. I looked at her with a guilty expression. I had to say something.

"I'm sorry." "It's fine. I get it. I'm being way too fast as usual." It's the first time I could feel Demi being disappointed in herself as well. I wanted to prove her wrong because she could never be too fast. If it would look like she was too fast, I would just be too slow. I didn't want her to think negatively about herself. But my lips sealed because, in the end, she was actually being too fast. How could I make it up to her? "It's just..." I thought of a way to explain myself. Why I was not accepting her kiss, and why I was so scared. I didn't even know what I was scared of. Demi's eyes met mine. "It's all so... unclear." I could see Demi think for a moment, but then a smile appeared on her face. "You want things to be clear?" "Yes." I answered. "Then there's only one thing I need to know." She sat up and faced her body toward me. "Do you want this? Do you want me and do you want what's going on between us?" I knew exactly what she meant. 'What's going on between us' simply meant this whole proportion thing. She was being so... tall and I was being so small. And we both loved it. But did I want it? Did I want us to pursue doing actions like these? Actions like her hitting me with a cane? And how far would we go if we would? "Selena?" I looked up at her, as I caught myself staring in the distance.

We could always try, whatever this was. And if it didn't turn out the way I liked it then we could always stop. Right? She needed an answer now, I could see it in her eyes. "Yes." I said. "Yes, I want this." I nodded, talking to both her and myself. The familiar sinister smile appeared on her face. "Then it's 'yes, ma'am' for you, from now on." I could feel my heart beating faster. "What?" "You heard me." She replaced herself, looking directly into my eyes. She waited for me to repeat her, pulling up an eyebrow. She actually wanted me to speak formally to her. Was this a plan she had sort out entirely? It's like she was controlling all of this, even the pace. I didn't really have a choice anymore, and yet I felt like I could call it quits whenever I needed. It was just a game. A nervous smile appeared on my face. "Yes, ma'am.." My voice was soft and hesitant. Her smile widened. "Good girl." She rewarded. Her approval made me feel good.

Demi's POV

From now on I was taking charge. We had opened a new book to explore. A new lifestyle, so it seemed. So many questions were burning in both of our heads, and yet we wanted to take it slow. It was a game of keeping each other's pace, and at the same time, we wanted to try everything at the same time.

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