Toast (an everlark fanfic)

Chapter 23

KATNISS' POV

My feet drag as i make my way to the middle of his room

I still have bruised ribs and a minor concussion
Everyone permitted me to stay in bed, but i told Gale that he was to tell me the second that Bear was stable enough for me to visit him, he kept his promise

I walk to the side of the bed and stroke his bouncy blonde curls. Well the best i can at least

His head is wrapped tightly in a bandage, so most of his hair is hidden underneath

One of his eyes are swollen shut, he has 4 fractured ribs and his head is bleeding
I run my finger along his cheek

"Hi baby" i say, the tears pooling in my eyes

"I'm not a baby, mommy" he says with a huff

"I know, you are a strong, brave boy" bare giggles

"I wanna leave"

"I know Bare, i know"

i want so badly to help him, to comfort him, to tell him everything will be okay. But i can't, because i won't lie to him

After a few minutes of silence, he asks the question i've been dreading

"Is daddy okay?" my heart drops, my palms get sweaty and the room starts to spin

I try to anchor myself, i won't turn into a shell of who i was because peeta is gone

I owe it to my children to be there for them. I refuse to let this affect the love i have for them

I gather myself and allow a few tears to escape, as i kiss his forehead

Then i take a deep breath

"Bare... daddy is gone" i say, and my whimpers turn into sobs

HAYMITCH PROMISED ME I WOULDNT HAVE TELL HIM THAT!! I HAD TO TELL ME SON THAT HIS FATHER IS GONE!

Bare looks up at me, his eyes soft blue eyes shimmering

"What? Is he coming back mommy?" he says, i attempt to wipe my eyes free of tears, but more tears just replace them

"I don't know, Bare" i say, wrapping my arms around him

Bare begins to cry as i soothingly rub his back

"We will be okay"

"N-not without d-daddy" he sobs

Telling Bear was worse than I thought it would be... a lot worse

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After about an hour, Gale walked in

"Hey"

"Hey" i answer

"Im so sorry catnip" he says, walking slowly to a chair in the corner of the room

"You've lost so much coming here... you don't deserve this, you deserve to be home with your family"

I know now what i saw in his eyes that first time we came across him a few weeks ago. It was longing

Not necessarily for my heart or romantic love, not necessarily for me either. Gale simply longed for anyone to be in his life that he could trust

Come to think of it, the only person in the capitol that he's known since before the rebellion, is my mother. Other than that he needs to try and decipher who he can actually trust... and it's my fault

The truth is, Gale would be back in 12 if it weren't for my aversion to him. He would have family and friends besides us, who he knew back in 12. His life would be important to him and he would probably even find love. But i took that away like i took everything else away from him

I kissed Peeta. I started the rebellion. I made him think i could love him. I got married to Peeta. I shot the arrow into the forcefield. I caused 12 to be bombed. I made Gale come into the rebellion. I made him rescue Peeta. I neglected him once Peeta was black. I yelled at him when he was hurting. I forced him out of my life

I did all of this and he's still here, watching over me and Oakley, fighting for Bare's life, trying everything he possibly can to get Peeta back for me... AGAIN

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After i sing Bare to sleep, i hear a subtle knock on the door

I start to get up, but gale throws his hands out in front of him

"I can get it!" he says, walking to the door
He opens it and motions for the person to come in. then Plutarch appears in the doorway and Gale quickly follows him away

"Annie!" i say, running over.

A few months after finnick's son, Flynn, was born he and Annie moved to 12. He is older than Bare by 2 years, but they are still best friends back home

She pulls me into a hug

"He's not dead Katniss" she says hopefully

"As long as you are alive, there is nothing that
will stop him from coming home to you"

My eyes water at this. Shes right. Out of all the people who have been trying to comfort me, Annie seemed to know just what to say

I don't know her as well as Haymitch or Gale but for some reason, she knew what to say

Maybe it's because she went through the same thing with Finnick, whatever it was, it's what i needed to hear

He said always. He meant always

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Gale smiles at me, he never smiles and when he does, it's usually in sympathy. Gale is happy about something

I follow him to the meeting room

He motions for me to sit down at the round table next to Haymitch. Then he stands up and slams his palms on the table excitedly, leaning all his wait on it

"Guess what?"

What did y'all think? My parents are i Florida for the week, I'm at my grandparents house and they live in the country so the WiFi is not rly good

I'm trying to update as soon as I can but it won't be as soon 😕

Love y'all and thanks so much for the support!! 💜

- your friendly neighborhood spidey-ev