Toast (an everlark fanfic)

Chapter 20

KATNISS' POV

I cry out as Haymitch grabs me and pulls me back

"No! Peeta!" i scream, clawing Haymitch's arms. He cringes in pain, but doesn't let go

My knees go weak and I sink to the hard the cement, and start to hyperventilate as i pull my knees into my chest and curl up on the ground

It feels somewhat like it did in the quell, when the jabberjays pierced my ears with their wretched song.

I cant open my eyes in fear of reality seeping in. i keep repeating "it's not real" over and over, forcing reality out. My mind spins

I wish i could be like Peeta was during the war. I don't want to know the difference between what's real and what's not, i want to hide in the dark of the unknown. It's too late for that

I've already watched my world crumble, over and over. With that same feeling of terror of losing everything that i felt during the rebellion. And now, i wish I still thought Peeta was dead

After a few moments of my head spinning beyond control, i hear Haymitch stand up from the ground and release his grip on my arm

He reaches up to the bulletproof vest and i hear the echoing click of the button on his dispatcher

"Clash... Gale we.... Found him... ckssh"

"Ckssh... sounds good, bring him up... ckssh"

"Ckssh... we can't... ckssh"

"Ckssh... why, what happened?... ckssh"

"Ckssh... because, we saw him in an aircraft, its gone... ckssh"

Then the line went silent

"Okay sweetheart let's go" Haymitch says, before i have the time to analyze what he means, im thrown over his shoulder

I start digging my nails into his shoulder but he doesn't even move. I pound my fists on his back and kick his stomach but he won't release me

"Let me go!" i shriek, he just keeps walking

Finally i stop thrashing around until we get to the ladder. I'm saving my energy because once he puts me down to figure out how to climb the ladder with me, i'm going to run for it

As soon as my feet touch the ground i turn to a giant tunnel that leads back to the bunker

But as i lift one foot off the ground, i feel haymitch's hand back on my arm, but not in a forceful way like last time

"Katniss-" but i don't let him finish, i just run over to him and break into a hysterical sob

I attempt to speak, but my throat feels like sandpaper and my lips refuse to form words

"Come on" Haymitch says softly, tugging on my arm

My feet won't move

"We-" i begin to say, but my throat tightens and my mouth goes dry

"We were so close Haymitch, if we would hav-" i say, my voice cracking with each syllable, Haymitch cuts me off

"No, i don't want you to say that. We will get him back, but we can't change what just happened" i hang my head low, Haymitch is right, but i can't help but feel like something is missing, of course Peeta is gone, but there's something else

I turn to Haymitch, no longer crying because of the lack of tears left

"How will i tell Bare?" i ask him, Haymitch straightens up

"Tell him what sweetheart? You don't have to tell him anything, except that his daddy will be home soon" i shake my head

As much as i want Haymitch's words to be true, it feels like my faith is drifting away, piece by piece, my frayed reality is morphing into what's real. My mental "hijacking" is starting to dissolve along with the hope of what will never be

I know that Haymitch doesn't believe what he says, that i DO have to tell Bare that Peeta is gone. Almost instantly i push Haymitch away and stare at him in shock, my mouth hanging open

"Bare!" i yell, running for the ladder. Haymitch follows directly behind me

I sprint through the halls, the cement making a loud thump noise every time my foot touches it

At that moment, i forget about Peeta, all i can think about is Bare. even though i had forgotten about him, i know that the squad didn't

From the beginning, their mission wasn't to rescue Peeta, it was to rescue them both

Just as i'm about to reach the the room where the squad is stationed, an explosion blows me towards the cement wall

My eyes slowly drift to unconsciousness

this one is short and "sweet" 😉

i really wanted to draw out the time between when i posted, buuuuuut i just couldnt wait! 

- your worst nightmare