Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I HAVE REALIZED I WANNA REWIND
After our last period of the day, Dante walked up to me after class. "Hey, al wait up." His face held an expression of disappointment. "What?" I said smiling. "What happened with Matteus, at the party?" He asked, Audrey must've told him during the period. "I, uh, it was a stupid mistake and I didn't mean it at all." I said trying to find a way to make him forget it. He was quiet for a second, obviously angry. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it and I was drunk." I tried to apologize. "We weren't even dating Dante, why are you so worried?" I said in annoyance. "You kissed my own best friend, and I'm pretty sure you knew we both liked each other. Don't play dumb, Allison." He said in anger. I knew we had something, I just didn't know if I was being delusional. "I don't have feelings for him, though." I tried to reason with him, but I made it worse. "Plus, you held hands with my best friend and had dinner with her." I defended. "So? I didn't like her, I was just guiding her through the party and she offered dinner." He said in a frustrated voice. I ruined it, all over again. Just like I did with Joey. He scoffed at my silence, "I'm leaving." "Dante, I'm sorry." I tried to apologize and started walking after him. Everyone was out of the school already. We were alone and fighting. "Forget about it." He said and kept walking to the entrance. "Fuck you." I said, and stopped walking after him. I was tired of chasing after him, chasing after something that felt hopelessly far. I immediately regretted it and it was visible in my face. "Yeah? Fuck you too." He said before walking out of the entrance. 'You shouldn't have kissed Matteus.' I thought to myself. I felt like breaking. I walked out the entrance and walked home, since Beverly left without me. Walking into the house, it was weirdly silent since my dad was supposed to be back. I checked the voicemails on my home phone and realized he got held back a couple extra days. So, I got into his alcohol stash and drank. All alone, at my home. Numb to the feeling. Numb to everything and I knew as soon as it wore off I'd be totally and completely broken. How does my happiness become ruined so easily? My phone buzzed. Accept CALL ASHLEY: how's your hangout with Dante going? ME: There wasn't a hangout. I blankly said before hanging up and throwing my phone on my couch. I took a swig and felt the warm stinging sensation in my chest. Just a couple days ago, we had been at our best. Hugging and watching movies together. How'd it crumble so fast? He was my relief and I didn't have him. I was nothing. I ignored my buzzing phone and walked upstairs. I slept in and skipped my alarm, making me late to health class.
