When The Heart Sings and Bleeds.

The Boy I Used To Be.

I tell myself that everything's going to be okay
That there's no reason for all this pain I feel
No reason for all these tears
No use for all this anger I feel

Oh, the time it took to change
The time it took to see all these mistakes
The life I had I can't take back
The person I used to be I can't become

The boy I used to be I can't remember
The tears I shed, the shouts I screamed
And the things that happened

The feelings that left me feeling in a different way
Yet I can't see why these tears still  hurts so much

I'm not the same, my words are unsaid
What I hide is buried deep inside
To know; to love; to breathe; to live; to be happy

It hurts so much to know, to realise
That I'll never be the boy I used to be again
The boy that would always laugh and smile
Without a broken heart and a depressed soul

The one that's true, would always be strong
But the feeling is real and the truth is sealed
Now I cry in the dark, in the corner where nobody sees

Sometimes the tears hurts so much
That I can only keep them bottled up for a while
I'm the kid with the story no one would believe
The scars are real but the wounds are another mark

If you only knew what I've been through
And what I have to endure everyday
Or maybe you could take a walk in my shoes

Then you might know how hard it is to hold back tears
And  maybe you'll know how I really feel
And how hard it is to fake a smile

I just don't think I'm the same in anyway
I don't think I even recognise  myself anymore
So where did my soul go?
Where did that happy little boy go?

What happened to him?
The one that could make you laugh
The one that was always happy and smiling
What happened to him?
'Cause I'm lost without him

I'm no longer me
Life's unfairness and cruelty
The anger, the loneliness and depression changed me
But did they change the boy I used to be?
Oh God, if only I knew...