Learning to Trust

Chapter Sixteen

Sigyn p.o.v.

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I have no idea what in the bloody bifrost is going through my mind at the moment. I try to collect my thoughts as Loki quickly pulls away, clearly noticing my sudden panic. I recall my blood boiling when the Enchantress was clawing all over him, and getting a bubbly feeling when Eli would tease us earlier today, that all must have been some premature gaggle of contemplating... Feelings for Loki.

And again when we were running to the bifrost, when I looked at him and he just looked so interesting and complicated. Oh gods, and again when he was using magic and held my hand!

"Sigyn, are- are you alright, I- I didn't mean to go- go to far- I'm sorry I just thought..." He stammers, flinching his touch away from me quicker than I could feel it.

Hesitantly, I say, "No, no Loki, you're completely fine. I just got scared for a second and..." I trail off, realizing my eyes are hooked on his lips as he speaks. I feel my face grow hot and I look to my left, trying to regain my train of thought.

"Scared? Scared of what? Oh." His voice drops below a whisper, "Scared of me."

I immediately pop my eyes back up to meet his own, placing a hand on top of his knee, only to have it quickly removed my him.

"Oh no, Loki no, no. That isnt what I meant, I- I didn't mean it like that."

His expression turns stone cold and he stands up, moving emotionless to the balcony door. I watch helpless and he slams the door behind him, the sound echoing throughout the empty apartment.

"No, no Loki." I mutter, envisioning explaining to him I was afraid of feeling something. I want to get up and go out there, go explain myself, but instead I stare at the ground, picking at my fingers.

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Loki P.O.V.

"Dammit, I knew this was a mistake." I mutter to myself, pounding my fist onto the ledge. I got too close to Sigyn too fast, I showed emotion and it backfired on me. It was only a matter of time before she showed her fear of me, her fear of a monster. What else could I expect, I have had situations like this before, where showing affection only gets me hurt. I should have learned my lesson before, I am an ignorant, unlearning fool who cannot take a single emotional blow to the heart.

Now that I have showed affection to the only person who used to trust me, she is going to leave, I will never see her again and she will get herself killed out in the mortal world. All because of my taking of a stupid risk.

I watch the sun touch the top of the horizon, the first second of the last and most strongest part of day. The sky around it is absolutely breathtaking, golden orange with red streaks and deep purple whisping clouds. I release my fist, looking down at my white clenched knuckles turning back pale pink.

"What have I gotten myself into..." I whipser, raking my hands through my newly windblown hair. Sigyn has already made it this far with me, and I clearly have some sort of feelings for her. Though, maybe it is not too late for me to distance myself from her.

I look back into the window and see Sigyn, head in hands on the couch and my stiff shoulders relax, my first reflex is to go in and comfort her. Then I wrinkle my nose in disgust, this behaviour is what I am attempting to avoid. I believe my blackened heart can hold off on affection.With a sigh, I look to the sunset, taking my mind off of her.

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Sigyn P.O.V.

I burry my face in my hands, wondering how I could ruin something so precious so fast. I am the queen of ruining things like that, acting too fast was one of my many flaws. I shouldn't have kissed him, I shouldn't have let my heart lead. Now that I  have ruined it, broken my trust with him and accidentally made him think i was scared of him, he is going to kick me out.