MISMATCH

Chapter 30: New Beginnings (MATTEO)

"Yeah." Then I told him that Frances and I broke up. He took a swig of his beer. "And you plan on chasing after Nicole this time?"

I shook my head. "Of course not, she has Tony already..."

He gave a bitter laugh. "Could have been you. Your loss."

"I don't deserve her. Not with what I put her through."

"Do you love her?"

I sighed and downed my beer in one gulp. "Yeah I do." And when I finally admitted it, that took me by surprise as well.

"She still loves you, dude."

"I don't think I have the guts to tell her how I feel anymore. I did reject her when she confessed, remember? And besides, Tony is there for her already."

"But you're the father of her son. Technically you were there for the most part of her pregnancy. Unfortunately for you, Tony was there for the most important ones."

"Don't make me feel as shitty as I already do."

"Just stating facts dude. You're lucky I'm still your friend."

I sighed. "How will I make it up to her?"

"By being there at your son's baptism."

"I don't know when it is. I don't even know if I'm welcomed there."

"Then at least make an effort to find out and be there. Remember, you're the dad. You at least have that right. Use it wisely."

***

A few days later, after battling with myself on how I should make everything up to Nicole and my son, I remembered that Miranda was now taking care of the shop while Nicole was still on leave. It felt different to actually step foot at the coffee shop again. The last time I was there was when Nicole had cut me from her life. Now there I was hoping she would be there so that I could finally talk to her and apologize for everything I'd done - for abandoning her and my son. I saw Miranda outside smoking, and knew that if she was there, there was a possibility that Nicole wasn't. When I approached, she was taken by surprise.

"Wow. What made you decide to show up after all this time? She isn't here. Neither is the baby."

"I kind of thought that would be the case."

"Were you hoping she wouldn't be here? If you were, then what's the point in coming here at all? Don't you live in Ortigas?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to her, but I wasn't sure she'd be here. I was hoping you were though."

She laughed and took a puff from her cigarette. "Coming after me now? You're not my type."

"I know you still hate my guts, but I'm here for a different reason." Then I told her about my break-up with Frances.

"Are you expecting her to take you back? She has Tony. And as much as I would have wanted to deny it, he's actually been good to her ever since you left."

I knew that she would continue to condemn me for hurting her sister. So I let her rant. I deserved every hurtful word she threw at me anyway. And when she let everything out, she finally let me speak. "I know I've hurt your sister, but I want to make up for everything. I need your help, and even though I know you feel I don't deserve it, please hear me out...."

***

It took a lot of begging, but Miranda finally gave in and told me when and where the baptism would be. On the day of the baptism, I wanted to be there, but at the same time I was scared to show up because I didn't really know what would happen if I did. It was difficult to catch Nicole while she was alone because almost everyone wanted to talk to her and the baby. I saw my chance when I spotted Wacks in the crowd. I immediately rang him up. "Dude, I need a favor..."