It's Not Me

13-Not Really-13

You woke up the next day pretty late without any real motivation to get up and you hadn't really planned to either.

Exhaustion weighed on your body like a million bricks, but you had to get up eventually as Molly ran around your bed and barked at you, wanting to go out for a walk for once.

You had gotten up, struggling to really feel like doing anything, but Molly seemed pretty keen on getting you up.

You had gotten a few messages from your friends, asking you if you were fine and you had replied to all of them telling them you were fine.

Company right about now sounded not so desirable but Ji eun seemed to know better than you as when you returned home you were met with her face at the door, and a sad smile.

You had broken down then, tired from everything that has happened and everything that it waiting to happen and Ji eun had taken you inside and let you cling onto Her as you cried.

half an hour passed before you two could properly speak and she let you go then as you calmed down.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't proper" you said softly, voice croaky from crying and she snorted.

"Don't be dumb, you're still my friend. It's fine, I imagined you'd be somewhat exhausted too with everything that's been going on. No amount of bad ass history can hide the soft gushy you inside" she said and you snorted, shaking your head.

"So how are you? Really, what is this making you feel?" She asked as she leaned into the couch and you sighed then, bringing your legs under you in a comfortable position as you looked to Molly who was asleep under the coffee table.

"I'm really tired... I don't... I don't think I want to do this anymore. I mean i still want to fight for her, but i just..." you stopped for a moment, hesitant, but Ji eun encouraged you to keep going and you bit your bottom lip.
"I just wish it didn't come with so many eyes on us... it's so tiring... you guys have it so hard, I can't imagine it. Falling in love is hard enough on it's on, but having cameras on you while doing it is fucking impossible" you said and she chuckled at that, nodding and giving you a sad look.

"Yeah, imagine that. You can't go on a single date dressed cutely without being spotted. The next thing you know the headlines are wondering who 'IU's next big thing' is" she said and you give her a Sad look before looking away  again.

"Does it make me a bad person i sort of wish you guys weren't idols?" You asked softly, and she scoffed at that Making you turn towards her a bit in shock to see her giving you a hard gaze before it softened.

"No, it doesn't. However, It makes you human, I mean I'd never go to the extent you go through. You're bound to get tired and honestly you don't have to jump in right away into this mess again. Wait a bit ok? don't lose yourself over this. " she said and you nodded, feeling a bit better at her kind words.

"This is the life you guys lead and no matter what, I'll take it through the bad and good. So yeah the cameras are scary but they aren't the scariest thing I've dealt with" you said softly and she giggled a bit at that, finally the heavy feeling in your chest slowly disappearing.

"And what's the scariest?" She questioned, looking at you amused and you grinned at her.

Maybe a friend was what you needed today.

——

Ji eun left a bit later than expected, but that night you slept like a baby.

Only to be rudely awaken by a phone call early in the morning.

"We have a bit of a problem at work..." you groaned a bit at this, from the other side of the phone you could hear Min Soo tapping on the surface of wood, a nervous tick of hers.

You were really considering for a bit of it was worth getting up, and decided against leaving poor Min Soo hanging.

She seemed nervous and probably with reason.

"Ok, I'll be there soon" you said softly as you got up from bed then, groaning again as Min Soo thanked you profusely and apologized before hanging up.

You let out a small whimper at the thought of leaving the comfort of your home, but still got up and started dragging yourself along.

Hopefully whatever it was that was going on at work wasn't all that bad.

——

It was bad.

As soon as you entered your cafe, you were met by blinding lights of cameras flashing your way, a lot of voices jumbling over one another, and your frantic workers trying to explain what was going on.

Well, what the hell had you missed?