She Came Back

Chapter Thirty Five

River's POV

A text comes in from Abigail, I shakily lift my phone to look at it.

Abigail: River is everything okay? I thought you got in trouble because of the fight but the principle said it had nothing to do with that. I'm at home please call me.

Today is the first time she has spoke to me or even looked at me in two months. Of course I want to tell her everything is fine but its not, nothing in my life is ever 'fine.' 

The things I do to survive, to take care of my family is not normal or fine. My entire life has been a disaster for nearly two years and it only gets worse. When I pull into the driveway of my house with Molly and Madison Zane is getting off the bus. Molly and Madison were in early child hood so they don't even know what is going on yet.

The girls get out of the car and Zane comes down the driveway. "Hey River what you doing home?" Zane asks confused.

"Come inside man we got to talk." I tell him. We head into the house the kids hang up their coats and school bags. I can't believe I am about to have this conversation with an eight year old and two four year old's.

We go in the kids sit on the couch and I sit down on the coffee table. Zane knew in a sense but having to tell him this will be even harder.

"Listen guys um mom went to the hospital today." I whisper.

"Why?" Madison asks. 

"Is she sick?" Molly asks. 

"Yeah she's been sick for a while girls, the kind of sick that doctors can't help you get better." I say trying to explain it without it seeming harsh. "Remember when mom told you that people live and die that when we die we go to heaven." I say tears begin to threaten to spill over my eyes.

"No not yet!" Zane yells jumping to his feet.

"Man I'm sorry believe me I've been doing everything I could to keep her alive longer." I whisper. "It was inevitable Zane."

"Mommy is in heaven?" Molly sobs.

I let the tears spill over and nod. "Yeah."

Sadness and resent fill me, how the hell could she do this to me? Her lawyer said she quit doing treatment she was putting the money in a bank account for us. The money wasn't important her being alive was important! How could she leave me to tell my sisters and brother that she is gone already?

Rage flows through me then there is a knock on the door I get up to answer the door. "Hey George." I say softly.

"River, Greta and I thought we'd take the kids for you for a while so you can get things in order." George says sadly, he's my moms older brother and I know it must be affecting him to. 

"Uncle George you don't have to I'm sure you need time to." I shake my head.

"No boy, you need time." George says sternly he comes in and pulls me in to a hug, I hug him back tightly. 

"Thanks." I say softly. 

Most people wouldn't think they'd have to plan their mothers funeral alone at the age of eighteen, though mom had some of it done I still have to do the rest.

George takes off with my sisters and brother just as another vehicle comes down the driveway looks like my moms lawyer. He quickly steps out and comes forward. "River I'm sorry to bother you but I was supposed to give you these." He says this as he hands me a large brown paper bag.

"Uh thanks?" I ask confused.

"Just look at it, your mom left you some information and some stuff for others as well she labeled it accordingly." He says and then turns to leave I sigh and shut the door behind me. I sit down on the couch and look into the bag its full of DVD's and letters.

Disc one says to watch first I get up feeling irritated and put it in the DVD player nice ma while you were dying you were making me a fucking movie.

I watch carefully as the TV flickers and then starts up it's mom sitting on the couch of the living room. 

She smiles sadly at the camera. "Hi baby." Tears start flooding out of my eyes so fast I can't hardly see. "If you are watching this then that means I'm gone. River I don't want you to be mad at me for my decision."

"Well that's to fucking bad ma!" I yell at the TV jumping off the couch. "You hear me?! I'm fucking pissed!" I scream.

"This wasn't an easy decision for me but River you were risking so much by keeping those treatments going. We were putting off the inevitable and those treatments were beginning to take a toll on me. What is the point in being alive if all I will do is suffer physically all the time?" She asks. I fall back onto the couch as I take in what she's saying.

"I love you your brother and your sisters more then anything I just want what is best for you guys. I've been speaking with a judge in town letting him know that your dad may try to come take the kids away so you need to set up placement and custody River." She says.

"Of course it is your choice, if you'd rather George and Greta take care of them I know they'll do it I've already talked to them about it. If you'd rather your dad take them that is okay to but now that I'm gone you have to decide. Decide what is best for them I won't chose that for you." She smiles again.

"Okay so you know there is other DVD's in the bag, they are for the twins and Zane for their birthdays and Christmas up until they're eighteen. I also made one for Amelia so I hope you give that to her. I've also wrote Abigail a letter don't read it give it to her." She says sternly narrowing her eyes at me, I smirk at that.

"I love you River very much." Mom says and smiles again. "Stop doing what you have been you should have plenty of money saved up." 

I'd already put in to do a race tonight and I have to do it or I will lose what I put into it but she is right after this I need to stop racing and fighting at least. 

"Even after funeral costs River there is still PLENTY of money be smart with it son, you can do this and you could keep that farm going. Of course if you want to you can sell it I wouldn't hold that against you either." The phone suddenly rings I look around but I'm pretty sure it is coming from the TV. "Well that is the school calling me guess I better answer it. I love you baby." She says and then TV goes black I sigh and shut it off.

All the rage I had been feeling towards my mom is now gone I can't be angry at her for her decision. I stand up grabbing the keys to the Impala off the counter. I've got to get out of this house even if its just for a drive.