First Love (is being edited)

Chapter 20

The next day was exactly the way John predicted it would be. His father was laying in bed with a terrible hangover, apologizing to everyone, and once again promising that it would never happen again.

John loved his father very much, but he knew that what he said was just an empty promise. His father couldn't control his urges, he had a drinking problem. Until his father accepted that and asked for help, nothing would ever change.

It was sad that such an amazing guy, who had so much to offer to the world, compassion, bravery, strength, was being turned into a monster by the guiding hand of alcohol.

John's sister was, of course, the first one to forgive their father. She took care of him, as a mother takes care of a sick child. She brought him fresh water and soup, she even brought him a waste bin so that he wouldn't have to get up if he wanted to throw up.

John's mother was already at work, pretending that everything was okay. After all, that was what she did best. John couldn't stand the lying, the pretending, the pain. He needed to get out of the house, as soon as possible.

Unaware of his actions, he sent a message to Gem to meet him in his favorite park. It was his safe place, a place to go when he was feeling like he might explode from the injustice of it all.

Sitting in the park, surrounded by the beauty of nature, always helped him feel a bit better, even if just for a few fleeting moments.

For some reason, he wanted to share that place with Gem, maybe because she also made him feel good, happy. He didn't expect her to be able to meet him since it was still morning, and he asked her out of blue, but he got an immediate affirmative response.

Since she needed about twenty minutes to reach the park from her place, John settled down on a bench under the biggest and strongest looking tree in the park. Its strength gave him peace, and he spent those twenty minutes just staring at the tree. He looked at the sturdy trunk, and rich crown and wished he could be more like the tree, to be so sure of his place in the world.

He wanted to allow all the facets of who he was to flow freely, the same way the tree allowed its branches to develop and go their separate ways. People were born, people died, and yet the tree still stood its ground, further developing with every passing year, something John was unable to do.

In his life, he had always lacked the simple joy of small, precious moments. He never had enough time to watch the sun rays illuminating the tree crowns and making some leaves appear dark green while others looked light green, so he took some time to do that while he waited for Gem. He had never had the patience, the time to enjoy the simple beauty of life before.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice when Gem approached him until her gentle hand cupped his injured side of the face.

"What happened to you?" Gem asked with immense gentleness and worry.

John stayed quiet, thinking what the best answer would be.

"I can't tell her the truth! She will see how truly broken I am and leave me!" He thought.

"Nothing. Just a silly brawl with one of my friends." He said.

"John, please, don't do that." Gem said.

"What?" He asked.

"Don't lie to me. I opened my heart to you, told you everything about my late father, about my deepest fears. Can't you do the same?" She asked, hurt evident in her voice.

"I am sorry Gem. It's just that...I am ashamed and scared that you wouldn't accept me if you find out how broken I am." He said.

"John, listen to me! I would never reject you for something like that. If you are truly broken, then I will help you gather up every last piece and put yourself back together." Gem said, in a stern voice people usually used when talking to small children.

John let out a breath of relief, feeling that she was honest. She was always honest with him.

"It's my father..." He started, and then closed his eyes, unsure of the best way to go on.

Gem cupped his face with both of her hands.

"John, look at me. It's okay. You can tell me anything. I am here for you. I am not going anywhere." She said.

Once their eyes met, they both realized how true her words were.

Using her gentle eyes as his anchor, John took a deep breath and started telling his life story to Gem.

"Since I can remember, it was always the same. My father would go away for work for a few days. Then he would return drunk, having spent all the money he had earned as a manual worker.

After that, he would get into a huge argument with my mother because she always yelled at him for being drunk.

That would only make him mad, and from a happy drunk, he would turn into a violent one in a matter of seconds, like flipping a switch. He would start yelling back, and one thing would lead to another, then he would slap my mother. In turn, she would slap him back and after that, it would become even worse.

As for me and my sister, he was never violent towards us, but from time to time, I would receive an accidental slap. It would come as a consequence of me putting myself between him and mum, like last night." John said, pointing at his cut lip.

He went on to explain his father's regret, forgiveness they always gave him, and the cycle that repeated itself every few weeks.

While he was talking, he didn't even notice that tears were streaming down his face until Gem carefully wiped them away.

When he finished telling her about what was happening in his family, she was lost for words.

Instead of saying something cliché, she hugged him tightly, wishing that she could erase all his worries and pain with her love-filled hug.

It was exactly what he needed, and they stayed like that for a very long time, finding the comfort they needed in each other's arms.