First Love (is being edited)

Chapter 4

"I am sorry. This must sound so ridiculous to you, coming from a guy. I am not even sure why I am telling you all this. It just feels like I have to tell someone how I feel, or I might just explode, and you seem...understanding," he said, shifting awkwardly.

After saying all that, he couldn't help but feel as if he had said too much. It wasn't his plan to tell her the whole truth.

Telling the truth wasn't the same as sharing his deepest secrets, and he was sure he crossed the line.

For some reason, he didn't regret it. It was the strangest interaction he ever had with another human being, and instead of feeling weirded out, he felt relieved.

Saying all those things out loud, felt as if a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders like he was finally able to be himself.

He hadn't been himself for such a long time, that it took some time to adjust.

Around his friends, he always had to act tough and uninterested in gentler feelings, and that always made him feel like a liar, an impostor. But telling the truth never turned out well for him, so he decided to avoid serious topics and just be a shallow guy everyone expected him to be.

Now, he regretted not putting his foot down and showing the world that guys could feel as well, but fear was a very strong deterrent.

Gem could see that John was surprised and self-conscious, but she didn't see a reason for him to feel like that.

What he said were some very nice things that made her believe that there were good men out there. She was doubtful for a long time since she couldn't see it.

All she saw were guys looking for another conquest, a girl to win over and then leave in the dust when they got tired of her. It was sometimes difficult for her to imagine that hearts were ticking in their chests.

Since her experience was mostly negative, it was a breath of fresh air to hear a guy talking sincerely and emotionally.

Maybe she was just surrounded by the wrong kind of guys her whole life, or maybe John was special.

There was something about him that made her gravitate towards him. It was like magnetism that was difficult to resist.

The funny thing was, that she didn't want to resist it. She wanted to get to know him, to help him out, to comfort him.

It was strange how protective she got having just met him, but she felt like he deserved better.

He deserved a better life, better friends, just more good things in general. She could tell that, by only looking at him, and the way he expressed his emotions and revealed his soul to a person he just met.

"It is very brave of you, saying all that to a stranger, but I think it is wonderful. The way you know what you want and who you are. I think many people struggle when thinking about the future, myself included. The problem is when you are not sure what YOU want. It is much easier for other people to implant ideas in your head," she said.  "I am afraid that most of the time, I am doing what is expected of me and not what I want. It must be great to have that certainty, but also, I guess a bit scary, especially in your situation.  I mean, you are surrounded by people who want completely different things or are at least in denial."

"In my opinion, you are unique, and that is both wonderful and terrifying at times. And no, it doesn't sound ridiculous, it makes me feel hopeful. In my everyday life, I am surrounded by guys who don't seem to be interested in anything but sports, parties and hooking up. Hearing all you have to say, makes me grateful that I got this unique opportunity to peek behind the curtain, and see something I didn't expect. The world seems to be a better place with you in it," Gem added, blushing profusely.

She had never said such an honest thing to anyone, let alone a stranger.

After she said that, they both seemed confused.

They had shared a moment that couldn't be explained, but that was deeper than anything they had shared with anyone else. It was deeper and more honest than anything they had told to their families and friends.

Suddenly, they were at a loss of what they should do, or how to talk to each other.

John felt much better and was very grateful to Gem, but didn't know how to thank her without sounding weird.

Gem was happy that she found a person who could be so upfront with his feelings. She felt privileged that she had the chance to see the side of him that no one else got the chance to see.

Somehow, she felt happy that he trusted her enough to open up his soul.

But it was still unusual, after everything they said, it was like they finally realized that they were strangers and stopped the sudden burst of honesty.

Gem was the one to break the silence.

"Well, if you are feeling better, I guess I should be going. See you around." She said.

Neither of them wanted to leave since they knew they would never meet again.

"Yes, thank you. Well, see you." He said.

After he said that, she just nodded her head and walked away.