Horns // Billie Eilish

Thirteen

Alexis

It has been a few weeks since Billie and I had our talk and decided to make things exclusive, and things have been pretty amazing since then. So amazing that my pessimistic ass is just expecting something bad to happen sometime soon. Am I the only person who does that?

Over the weeks Billie has been spending more and more time with my friends, which makes me really happy. She likes them a lot because they don't give a shit about her fame and never try to use her for clout or anything. She says they make her feel normal, which has become a rarity in a lot of social circles for her.

It's also nice because neither of us really feel the need to tone down our affection around them, because none of them care enough to be the type to take pictures and leak them to the media. With that said, I don't want it to be known by certain people that we're in an exclusive commitment, so we don't let my friends in on too much. In their minds they probably just think we're friends with benefits or something.

I've also spent a lot more time at her house recently, spending time with both Fin and Billie's parents. I love her family, they're the kind of family I dreamed of having when I was younger. I mean, I still do, but I've kind of accepted that it won't be a reality at this point.

Her family doesn't know we're sort of together yet. Billie still hasn't worked up the courage to have the talk with her family about how she's with a girl, but she said she's getting there. She knows they'll support her no matter what, she just needs a bit of time, which I completely understand.

Meanwhile my dad found out we were together when he walked in on us making out in the kitchen. He just told us to move so he could get a beer and fist bumped me on the way out, which Billie found hysterical. He's not around much because he works a few different jobs and when he is home he's usually sleeping off 18 hours of work, but at some point I hope he can actually get to know Billie. Even though I don't see him as much as most kids see their dads, I love him a lot and he's one of my best friends.

Right now we're in Fin's room, playing around with some songs. I've gotten more comfortable with sharing my ideas and some of my work, they've both really pulled me out of my shell as an artist quite a bit. Finneas is sat at his computer while Billie and I are on his bed, Billie sitting criss-cross on the edge with a microphone and me leaning against the headboard holding one of Fin's guitars.

"Play me somethin'," Billie says and looks over at me while Fin tweaks a few things on his computer for the next recording.

I think about what to play for a bit before smiling and looking down at the guitar in my hands.

"You probably don't know this one, it's pretty underground," I preface as I run through the chords for a second in my head. I start to play come out and play, making Billie laugh as soon as she realizes what it is.

"You're right, I don't know it. Sing it for me," she says while I play and I just give her a look in response. I've gotten better at sharing my beats and lyrics, but she knows I still don't like singing in front of people. "Oh come on, please!"

She gives me a pout and puppy eyes that makes my heart melt almost instantly.

"Damn it, fine," I huff and stop playing while Billie cheers and Finneas laughs.

"You're so whipped Lex," he teases and I shoot him a glare, but he's just staring at his computer so he doesn't notice. He teases me and Billie a lot for acting like a couple. Little does he know...

"He's not wrong," Billie says in a goofy voice and nudges me with her foot playfully. "You're my bitch."

I simply roll my eyes in response, "Do you want me to sing or not?"