random oc stuff

heheheheheheheheheeheeheheheeeeeeeee

 "I've seen too much by now. Shells of people I once loved, people who have been tortured people who have been loved for no reason. But hey what my father taught me was nobody truly is a bad person. People aren't just cruel to be cruel, humans love but humans can break. So smile, show the world you're strong, show emotion show people you can break just like them. Depend on people and let people depend on you, because those things make people great. My father was my hero and he did all those things, he made mistakes but we all do. He gave me a home when I thought I destroyed everything I had. It shows that not all people are bad, the world doesn't always play unfair."

He walked through the forest as the rain dripped onto him. His face was to the sky letting the rain trickle down as he declared to be a better person. There he walked, flipping a coin up and down landing in his palm. He put the coin in his pocket and looked around him. He started running, the leafs trailing behind him as he made his way. The life in him was flaring up just like his flames. He arrived at the little cave he loved to go to. He entered and sat there looking around the darkness. He felt at home there, able to flare out without hurting anybody or scaring anybody. But the realization hit, he could accidentally hurt someone without his control. Usually severely too. There was nothing he could do about either. He didn't live in a place where he couldn't hurt anybody anymore. He summoned some fire in his hand sighing, he felt a tear go down his cheek gently landing in his lite palm making a sizzling sound coming from the fire. Scenarios where he could hurt someone he loved dearly flooded his head. He chuckled a little sad broken chuckle. "Guess it's just another one of those days..." He thought about the people he did hurt or scared off. The girl who he once really did love who left him in a snap of the finger flowed freely in his mind. He never got angry that the girl left him because he was 'paranormal' I guess he was used to it.

He slowly got up to his feet leaning on the cool surface of the cave. He looked at his hands grimacing as the fire continued to blaze on brightly. He looked out of his cave and bit his lip before looking out and letting himself flare up. He watched the flames ride across his arm in anguish. He slowly walked out of the cave looking over the world around him. Max let out a breath before glaring at the sky and running through the forest again. He ran until the wind was crisp and hurt to hit his face. He ran until his legs could barely keep themselves straight. He ran until he truly felt free. Running was an escape he loved watching his flames go with the wind. He loved the feeling of it pushing on his body. He loved the way it made him feel. Though, after a while, we climbed a tree to cool off. Literally and figuratively. He sat on a branch looking at the people who passed by. He jumped off the branch and sat by the tree, leaning against it. Max was antisocial, he didn't dislike people he just hated the aftermath. Maybe it was the stupid mask of happiness most people wore or fake empathy, just maybe it was the way people never decided to be themselves. He hated the constant judgment when people were just as bad themselves. But he knew it would never change because some humans are just cruel, not for no reason though. Maybe that's why he liked running, your brain lets itself go letting itself wonder and think about things you wouldn't if not running. It helps him let go of all the pain.

He stood to his feet and ran, he ran and ran until he got to them. People who never judged him rather empathize and understand. People who didn't care what you were but who you were. Sure they may be idiots and make mistakes sometimes, but they were much better than nothing in his mind. He stayed by their side helped them and smiled. The stone cold boy smiled. That's what made him a better person. Not him himself wanting to be better but wanting to get better for others who push you to do so. The boy who was taught to have his guard up at all times let his guard down. He laughed and loosened up. When he couldn't say what he wanted due to doubt pushing him down they said it for him and pushed him to be more out there. They broke down the barrier that he kept up for so long with a smile and welcomed him with open arms. They talked to him without judgment they just understood him, they didn't make it condescending. He felt he had a come with them, that as long as they were by his side he would be content. He loved knowing they would support him no matter what and wasn't afraid of him. That was not to say that he didn't get overwhelmed by them sometimes because he did. They all were extremists in some way and combine them they were intense and sometimes hard to handle. Whether it was Jack getting in a fight with a subway employee fore muttering an insult under his breath or Jax arguing politics with someone in public or Core accidentally almost killing herself in some way or another or Jesse challenging a Profesional chef to a cook-off. As much as he loved them they were idiots, sadly his idiots. In the end, he was stuck with them and he was fine with that. Because of how extreme they were it made them a lot more entertaining.

Then there was training. He was determined and he gave it his all. He worked until he fell unconscious. Constant fear of failing, upsetting Lotus, not meeting his standards plagued him. Anxiety-ridden. He didn't like not having a set goal or not having something to do in general. So he worked until his muscles felt like jelly, till his bones were about to shatter and until his brain was comparative to mush. He pushed as hard as he could not bothering to take a break. He understood it was unhealthy but most people realize that something that's harmful is harmful they just never bother to stop it. He kept at it until eventually got so burnt out he had to be hospitalized for a month or two. Even then he had to have a nurse watch him for most of the day so he wouldn't try to get up and do something that could harm him. He doesn't like the thought of relaxing, he thinks it's a waste of time. It's hard to get through to him he has his set ideas and doesn't like changing them. That's the only category he's stubborn in. He's a lot like lotus, but maybe... Even greater.