The fourteenth year

Chapter 9:

I woke up. Makeup and all. Clothes for last night still on my body. I had the weirdest dream. I had a dream that I was pregnant. Ironic right. Well anyways I got up and puked a few times. Then once I finished I stood up to see my reflexion. I was a wreck, makeup smeared and year stained. From crying the night before. Maybe I cried in my dream. Then I quickly washed my face and teeth and reapplied my makeup. I walked into my room and got dressed. I had church today.

I walked into my confirmation class. Once we started our topic on life choices and how to be a good choice maker. And your designs mattered. I felt bad. Like I was being judged. No one knew what is going on, but I still felt like they did, and once that was over it was actually mass time. I felt so guilty the entire service. I couldn't stop thinking about my possibility. What would I do. I can't handle this. After church was over we had a family lunch. Then mom had a quick thing at work while the rest of us cleaned. Once mom got back her and dad went grocery shopping. And khaki went to the YMCA to help a friend with strokes. And my brothers went on a bike ride. I took this opportunity to rest. I finally got up to start a pot of water for youth group dinner. Spaghetti night! Then I made some healthy cookies. Once I got ready to leave mom and dad showed up and nick came over. Mom took the sibling that could go to youth group and nick and I drove together. We got there. It was movie night. And the movie was a kickoff for our lesson on waiting till marriage and gods plan. I felt awful like a sinner. I put aside those feelings. Just for the time being. And tried to focus.

After youth I went to nicks house. We cuddled. He felt sick. So I tried to take care of him but all he wanted was to make me feel better. And he was frustrated because we don't know what's wrong with me. So we don't know what to do to make me feel better. So we just cuddled up close until we fell asleep. And we awoke to the text reading,

"Hey on the way to get you. Love dad"

We stayed together for a few more moments the. Broke apart. He asked me to stay the night. And it killed me to say no. When all I want to do is make him feel better. Once I got home. I called him. He soon fell asleep. I talked to him and then passed out myself