I'll Be Good

22

I jump into the shower. It is so weird to be naked in his house. As if I am vulnerable right now. As if anything could happen to me. But nothing happens. I shower, use some of his soap and shampoo, get dressed and head out.

'Get breakfast. I have to go to the office. I see you later,' Eric says and without much more he leaves. I go down to the cafetaria. I see George and Trina there and purposely ignore them. The spot I choose to sit is as far away as possible from them. George's eyes skim the crowd and fall on me just when I take a bite out of my banana and walnut muffin. He gets up and Trina grabs his arm and says something angrily at him. He shoves her aside and stalks over to me.

'What was that all about?' He asks.

'What?' I ask as if nothing weird happened.

'You and Eric... is that a thing?'

Other people look up now.

'No, of course not!' I say. The people who looked at us go back to their breakfast.

'Are you sure?' He says softer now, but still angry.

'Very.'

'What was that spoon about then?'

'I was sad and he cheered me up.'

'So I have to believe that Eric, the menacing dauntless leader, goes around spooning fresh out of initiation kids to cheer them up?'

'No, off course not. Eric and I are friends.'

'You two... are friends?'

'Yes, he helped me get in the leadership program.'

'I don't believe that,' my brother says stubborn.

'Then don't, I really don't care,' I say with a sigh. I do care what he thinks, but I am not gonna let him know that.

'Look, I just want to know what is going on with you, but I have a feeling I don't know about this whole part of your life.'

'You don't have to know everything!' I say angry.

'How am I supposed to protect you then?'

'Protect me? Protect me? You don't have to protect me. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, so no thank you.' I get out of my seat and stalk away. I try to hold in my tears. The programm is starting any moment now, so I start running.

I reach the room just in time. Max looks at me with raised eyebrows, but gives me a slight smile. I hate being late. It is the worst thing. Others are bothered by it and I don't want to annoy them and just aargh. I see Eric, but he doesn't even look at me. My stomach drops and I sit down next to a fairly handsome guy. He has tin brown hair and even though is is young, his hairline is reciting. He also has a scruffy beard and hazel eyes. He raises one eyebrow at me, but smiles back at me when I give him a small grin.  A woman with long black hair, bright green eyes and freckles walks in with a binder in her arms. He long hair flows behind her and her hips swing side to side as a side effect of her high heels. With those heels she is taller than I am, but I am sure she is shorter when she takes them off. She doesn't smile, but still looks beautifull and pretty cute.

'My name is Emma and I will guide you all through the leadership program. Eric, here, will sometimes assist me,' she says with this soothing voice and points at him. He nods af her. He works with her? Am I getting jealous? No, I can't be jealous. He isn't going to fuck her and mess around with me at the same time... although... she is so close to him. They see each other every day, all day. And on top of that they are aloud to be together. I am out of initiation and he isn't my instructor anymore, however, he now is one of the people who oversees the leadership program. He will be the one who will grade some of our tests. It would be illegal to date. My stomach turns by the idea of it. The idea of him with her.

I need to stop worrying about this and focus.

'Today you will start with a test to see how well you know computers,' Emma says. I look over at Eric. He thought me all about computers, so it would be appropriate to lock eyes, right? He doesn't even give me half a second. His eyes are only focused on her. I want to scream.

'Turn to a computer and begin the test after you filled in the forms,' Emma says and a hand of an older guy with glasses and big floppy ears raises his hand. 'Yes?'

'We already filled in forms,' he says.

'I know, but we always double check,' she says sharply. The grown man shrinks by the words of this small woman. I turn to the computer and start filling in the sheet.

Name: Ellis Feather

Former faction:
Dauntless/ Amity/ Erudite/ Candor/ Abnegation

Age: 16

I am so freaking young in comparison to all these other people.

When I am finally done with the form I can begin the test. The first ones I can immediatly do. Eric thought me excactly this stuff. The questions and things you have to do get harder if you get further along, but most of them I can do without even having to think that much. I see that the handsome guy is struggling next to me. His forehead wrinkles up when he is thinking hard and he wipes his face very often with the palms of his hands.

I am finished and turn around. Emma raises her eyebrows at me and walks up to me. I see in the corner of my eyes that Eric is turned me way, but I don't know if he is looking at me.

'Are you finished?' She asks and I nod. I see that some of the others look at me with a stressful look on their face. Emma closes the tab for me and says: 'you can go now.'

I take off without looking at Eric. He made me angry again. I just don't get him.

Happy thoughts, I tell myself. I need to distract myself.