I'll Be Good

6

'Wake up,' someone says and keeps tapping on my cheeck. I open my eyes and see Eric's face up close. My heart skips a beat and I move aside. 'Wake up,' he says again. The light is turned on in the dorm and all the initiates are already out of bed. Eric staightened up and leaves.

'What was that?' I ask.

'You wouldn't wake up,' Ross says. 'But I don't know why he didn't hit you. He seemed pretty pissed.'

'Yeah,' Tori says with a glance at Ross' naked torso. Ross pulls on a shirt. I picture Eric's face. I can almost remember every detail, even the dark dot in his grey iris.
'Why did they woke us up? I thought they wouldn't do that anymore,' I ask.

'We are going on a field trip. To the fence,' Ross says and he pulls on his jacket. 'Come on, get dressed. We'll see you in a bit.' Everyone has left the dormitory. I quickly put on my black skinny jeans, black shirt and my black hoodie that is a little bit too big. The big hoodie makes me look even smaller than I am. I step into my shoes and don't even take the time to tie my shoelaces. I run to the dining hall and grab a muffin. I see Eric leave the hall. Everyone else is already gone, so I follow him.

'You're late,' he says.

'Well you guys haven't left yet, so...'

'So you're still late. Don't do this again.'

We stay silent for the rest of the walk until we're at the train platform. It doesn't take long before the train comes and one by one we jump into one of the cars. I rub with my fingers over my sore muscles and sit down next to Ross.

'Were are we going?' Tori asks. 'Four said it, but I was half asleep, so I forgot.'

'The fence,' Ross says.

I look over at Eric. He's wearing an almost black jeans jacket and a tight shirt underneath. I keep staring at his chest without really thinking about it.

'We're here,' Four says and he jumps out of the train. We all follow. I still find it scary to just jump.

I hit the ground hard with my feet and roll over a couple feet. I jump up and follow the others to the fence. We go through it and I see the amity farms. I love the sight of the farmers working on their land while singing or whistling. I keep my thoughts to myself, because the others are making fun of them. By speaking out what I think I could be received as brave, but also as stupid for thinking this. I decide to not say anything.

-

We're back in the training room. Two initiates are fighting each other. I don't like to look at people fighting, but Eric does, so I pretend to like it too. When Eric looks bored by it, I do the same. When he seems exited, I also look exited. I want him to think we're on the same page, so he'll think I'm a better candidate for the leadership program.

'Mo, Ellis, you're up,' Four says. My heart starts pounding in my chest. Eric walks up to me.

'We'll talk after,' he says. What? Talk about what? My brain starts racing and I have a feeling it might explode. I step into the circle. Concentrate Ellis, I say to myself in my head. 'Scared?' Mo asks with a weird grin. I ignore him.

'Begin,' Four says. Mo storms at me and tackles me. I hit the ground. I punch him somewhere, I don't know where because my eyes are closed. I open my eyes, push him off of me and stand up. We throw ourselves at each other and kick and hit. Then he hits me hard against my jaw and I begin to feel dizzy. He hits me again. The room starts spinning. His fist smashes against the side of my head. I fall down, can't move. Pain. So much pain. Ross and Tori rush over to me, however, Eric stops them.

'I got them. I needed to talk to them anyway. You two go do your fights,' Eric says. My two friends look at each other, then at me and back at each other. Eric grabs my arm, hangs it around his shoulder and drags me out of the training room.

'You're such a pussy,' I hear Candel say before I leave the room.

I expect to go to the infirmary, but we walk past that. I'm too tired and too hurt to ask where we are going, but when we walk up the stairs I know where we go. His office.

After the walk that took way too long, we're finally in his office. He puts me down in his own office chair. He leaves the room, but it doesn't take long before he is back and he has an ice pack. He presses it against the side of my head.

'Hold this against it for ten minutes,' he says and I take over from him, whereby his fingers brush against mine. He sits down opposite me. 'Ok, so we found the first task for you.'

'Really?' I say, but it sounds more like a moan.

'Yes, we found someone, he's called Jacob, and he's divergent.'

'What's my job then?' I ask confused. It's hard to talk. My lips feel numb.

'Yes... yes, we want you to... get rid of him.'

'You want me to kill someone?!'

'Calm down, it's not that big of a deal. He's divergent so it doesn't matter.'

'What the fuck, Eric. It is a big deal! If I just have to "get rid of someone" I don't know if I want to be a leader.'

'Are you sure?' I stay silent for a moment.

'No,' I say then.

'Just kill him then.'

'I don't know what he looks like. What if I kill the wrong guy?'

He smirks. 'Alright, because it is your first time. I'll capture him and you'll do it. It will give you a good name by Jeanine.'

'Have you any idea how ridiculous this sounds?'

He grins.

-

I'm sitting on George's and Trina's bed with a cold water bottle against my head. I'm panicking on the inside. Right now I can keep my body in control, but I think that that's because the fact that I'm probably going to kill someone doesn't feel that real yet.

'George, can you give me another tattoo?' I ask then. I need to get my mind off of things.

'Alright, what do you want?'

'A wolf,' I say.

'A realistic one? Because I can't do that.'

'No, just line work.'

'Alright. I'll draw a couple and you can choose.'

After two hours he has drawn several wolves and I've chosen one. He starts stabbing me with the needle. This tattoo is on the same spot as the other one, but on my other arm. It doesn,t take long for him to finish. When he's done I leave to go to sleep.

-

I wake up early with a headache. I take a shower, which helps a lot. I get dressed and walk down to the dining hall. I see George there and walk towards him.

'Hi,' he says. I greet him back and grab a cup of coffee. 'Ellis, you know I work in the control room, right?'

'Yes, I know,' I answer.

'Well, Eric has been there quite often the last two days. He spends a lot of time in there, like there is something happening and he doesn't want anyone to find out.'

'Oh ok,' I say, not really sure what to say about this.

'You don't know anything about what's going on?'

'No, I don't. How should I know?'

'I thought... never mind.'

'Say it.'

'No, you're only gonna be more angry at me.'

'Please say it.'

'No,' he says. He stand up and walks away. Then I see Eric walking in. He sits down with other dauntless leaders and I keep staring at him. He's freshly shaved and has a little cut in his neck.