Seven Deadly Sins | BTS

Envy

"A slowness to applaud betrays a cold temper or an envious spirit."

- Hannah More

Hoseok was always lurking around every corner, hiding in the shadows. He would watch Bangtan from afar, envying them for their skills.

Yoongi was one of the best rappers in kpop, when he was not slacking away or snoring that was. Namjoon, in spite of his arrogant personality and mean character, could produce songs and write lyrics even though he would never accept any help, he believed in himself that much. Jimin had a temper but he was one of the best dancers he had ever seen. Taehyung and Jin both had stunning visuals and angelic vocals.

And then there was Jungkook, the golden maknae. He was good at everything and that made Hoseok feel sick in his stomach.

He wanted to be like everyone else, he wanted to matter, to be acknowledged. He envied those who were better than him, prettier than him, smarter than him.

Hoseok would hurt himself, indulging into his darkness every night. Punishing himself for not being smart enough, pretty enough, good enough.

The red haired man wanted everything the others had because he felt like he was the only one lacking in so many ways. Why couldn't he be good enough?

Self-destructing thoughts were ravishing his nights like vultures preying on dead meat, making it impossible for him to get a good night sleep.

Every day was the same routine. After practice, Hoseok would go and cry in the bathroom, staring back at his reflection, feeling nothing but disappointment for who he was.

In reality, Hoseok was an amazing dancer and a great performer but he couldn't see that. He was so hang up on what everyone else did better than him which blinded him towards his own capabilities.

Hoseok had reached to a point where he couldn't sleep if he didn't harm himself first.

Every night he would sneak out and go punish his body and soul. He was torturing himself for not being enough, for not having everything the others had.

He wanted their skills so desperately, he would do anything to gain even the slightest hint of talent.

Talent that he already possessed but was too jealous to see beyond his nose.

One day he found himself in front of the bathroom mirror again, loathing himself for not owning what others possessed. He couldn't take this feeling anymore so he finally snapped.

A single punch was enough to shatter the glass. The deafening sound of the glass, crushing on the bathroom tiles, made Hoseok take a step back.

"I would do anything to have what they possess." he growled at the top of his lungs.

Hoseok's tormented gaze fell upon a broken shard, of what used to be the mirror, on the floor. He froze in place, witnessing his own reflection smiling wickedly, like it was alive, ready to punish him.

A sudden feeling took over his body. His insides felt like they were filled with blazing lava. He could feel himself sizzling, slowly burning from the inside out.

He could feel that the source of this unsettling sensation was centered at his chest. It felt like his heart was radiating an unbearable heat.

Hoseok couldn't take this any longer, he started shouting and punching the walls around him.

"NO! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" he shouted before collapsing onto the floor. His legs couldn't bear the immense pain.

His reflection was standing, looking down at him through another mirror. It's grin emitting mischief and malevolence.

"I'M BEGGING YOU! MAKE IT STOP!" Hoseok shouted his throat out, pleading for salvation but this unbearable anguish wouldn't cease to exist.

He wanted it to stop immediately. He couldn't handle this excruciating pain anymore. He picked up a big, sharp fragment of the shattered looking glass and shoved it in his chest.

He jabbed it on his thorax again and again, trying to carve his heart out, trying to make the pain go away.

Loud screaming filling the entire building. Hoseok had lost his mind. Some random crew members who had just heard his ghoulish screams, ran inside and found him heavily injured and passed out on the floor with teary eyes and a sinister smile on his face.

He was alive but he would never be the same again. He asked for everything but when his wish was fulfilled, he couldn't handle it.

He envied everything he didn't have, everything he didn't need.

What was actually important, he already possessed but was too blinded by his own jealousy to realize.

And now... He paid the price.