You Don't See [h.s] ✔️

24

When Gemma and I returned, we simply watched a movie until Anne and Robin came back. My some what decent mood changed because of their presence, just seeing them as a family together, loving each other.

I had to excuse myself because it was all too much, saying I was exhausted and was going to take a nap. Their eyes saddened when they saw my upset face. I went into Harry's room and shut the door, went to my side of the bed, got under the sheets and cried.

I hate it.
I hate this life. I hate not having family. I hate Ashley. I hate Becky. I hate people. I hate Mark. I hate living. I hate that I'm letting Harry in.

I just want to die, I want my mum.

I hear the bedroom door open and close so I pull the sheet to cover my eyes. I don't want Anne, Gemma or Robin to see me cry, again.

The bed quietly squeaks as someone sits down next to where I'm laying on my side. They sigh as they put their hand on my back and soothingly rub it. They keep rubbing my back as they grab the sheet that is covering my eyes and gently tug it down. I squeeze my eyes shut as tears keep falling. They tuck my hair behind my ear and wipe under my eyes with their thumb.

"What's wrong, love?" Harry says so softly it doesn't even compare to a feathers softness. I snap my eyes open in shock that he's back.

My mouth parts and my bottom lip trembles as I look at him. I still don't understand why he wants to treat me nicely.

He moves closer, "come on, come here," he opens his arms, gesturing for me to hug him. I hesitate before getting rid of the sheet on my body and sitting like Harry, with my legs dangling from the bed. He wraps his arm around my waist to pull me closer. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap both my arms around his waist, being like a koala and Harry is the tree.

Harry rests his chin on top of my head, "speak to me," he waits a minute when I keep crying, "please, it's better to say what you're thinking than keeping it to yourself."

I suck in a big breath as I try to steady my breathing, gripping onto Harry's shirt as I speak, "I don't want to be alive, I c-can't do it anymore."

My heart is physically hurting by the time I get the words out. I can feel my chest and neck burning, "holy fuck," I screech out as I unwrap myself from Harry and stand up.

I pace around the room and palm my chest, trying to get rid of the pain, my breathing deep and loud. I can't think straight, I think Harry is talking to me but I can't hear it.

I collapse to my knees, there's sweat on my forehead. I'm feeling like I need to throw up. I don't understand what is happening.

"H-help," I choke out with my strangled voice. But how can someone help when I don't even know what is happening.

Arms hurriedly pick me up bridal style, Harry pulling me close to his chest. My vision starts to blur, I can't tell if it's from crying or not.

Harry opens his bedroom door and races down the stairs. All of his family are in the middle of a conversation when Harry bursts in with me in his arms.

They are all asking what's wrong and Harry just shakes his head and says, "I don't know! She was crying, then said something and it was like she was in pain. She was all red and sweaty, now she's really pale! What do we do?"

"She doesn't look so good," Robin starts saying and Harry cuts in, "no shit!" Anne scolds, "Harry!" Which he quickly apologises for.

"Let's take her to the hospital, it's probably best we leave now," Robin finishes.

They all get up but Harry says, "Gemma, mum, please stay here. She's not feeling her best right now and the last thing she needs is to be around people. Robin can drive us and we will call you, okay?"

"Alright then, but you have to call and tell us everything," Gemma says while pointing a finger at Harry.

"Yes, yes. C'mon Rob let's got," Harry nods towards the door.

Robin opens the front door so Harry can walk out with me, he also opens the back car door for Harry to get in with me.

He's trying to decide what to do with the sitting position, quickly putting me in the middle seat while he buckles his seatbelt in, then putting me back on him and placing the top of the seatbelt over me.

I try to keep my eyes open but they are getting so heavy. Robin starts driving and Harry tells me to hang in. But I can't.

My eyes close and I go unconscious.
I hope this is the end.

I hope I don't wake up.