You Don't See [h.s] ✔️

5

*self harm*

When school finished, I walked home with a bit of hope in my eyes. For what? I don't know.

But that small portion of hope vanishes when I stepped foot in my house.

I got slammed into the wall to my left. Then a large hand gripped my neck. I started gasping for air but at the same time I didn't want to struggle so I could just pass out.

I look at my dads fuming eyes as he hisses, "where the fuck did the money on top of the fridge go,"

"I, I didn't touch, touch it," I struggle to say.

"You liar," then bam, he punches my jaw, then slams my face in the wall. At least I can breathe because he isn't choking me anymore.

"Why would I have taken it if I knew you would act like this? Huh? I didn't even know we had fucken money there. Maybe you used it and you don't even know because your a fucken drunk and a fucken alcoholic," I spit at him.

He throws me on the floor and kicks me in my stomach.

"Your so worthless!" Kick "it should have been you not Parker! Ahhh for fakes sake your not even my child!" Kick, I gasp out a what? "Yeah, you're your mother's child not mine! That dumb slut used to fuck every guy she saw. Who knows, you could probably be Brad Pitts kid," kick.

I'm not even his kid? And I'm finding out now, not even by my actually parent. Oh lord. I hate my life, I hate it I hate it I hate it!

He grips my hair, "and you know what? She didn't even want you. When we were pregnant with Parker, she was praying to the Gods that he turned out to be the child she always wanted, the child you never were or could ever be," kick, he slams my head down, "no one fucken cares about you Bailey. I can't wait until your not under my roof and move on with your fucking life, because I hate you, just like your mother did. Parker probably hated you too, but we will never know because he is dead!" Kick, he starts backing up, "now go fucken kill your self or something, stay out of me way" and with that he's gone.

I lay on the floor for a few minutes. Thoughts rushing through my head, and then anger. I will go and kill myself.

I get up, grab my bag that fell off, and ignore the pain all over. I head to my bedroom and slam the door as well as lock it.

I make my way over to my bathroom and grab my razor. I slam it onto the counter so it shatters, then I pick up the blade.

I turn my bath on and look at myself in the mirror.
Nobody cares about you Echoes in my head.
I know! I know! I know!

I didn't realise I was crying until I stared into my eyes, my mothers eyes. I punch the mirror before I realise what I was doing. My knuckles bleeding.

Once the bath is half full, I get in, still fully clothed. I lean back and relax. That is until I feel myself dig the blade into my wrist.
For mother.
Another
For fake fucking father.
Another
For Parker, who may have been the only person to care about me.
Another
For no love or care in my life.
Another
For death.

I drop the razor as my eyes start to get heavy. I look at my left wrist and see the blood trickling down from the 5 soon-to-be scars, if I ever live to see them.

My phone starts ringing but I won't have the chance to get it as unconsciousness falls on me.