Things about me I guess and Co.

I mind as well share this...

So as you guys know I'm depressed and today is one of those days. I don't particularly feel like writing for any of my stories besides to tell you guys this. I am a writer and I love writing so much but nowadays with so much shit going on in my life it's just taking its toll on my brain and it's killing my creative outlet and I'm losing my will to write and also just losing my will to live in general. It may have to do with that I'm lonely as all hell and I have no one to call my special someone. I tried time and time again to put myself out there and to make a relationship happen but I guess I just can't do it. I've tried so long and I don't even feel love for anyone I once called my lovers. I hurt so much every day because I feel so alone. I don't want to hurt myself I just want happiness... I don't feel happiness and the only time I was ever happy was that I had someone to love... I am a loving person when you get to know me I really am. Yes, I can be annoying and a lot to deal with but all I ever wanted was love and that is hard to come by. The main reason I am even making this is to share what my mind goes through on a daily basis with my depression and all that... I have my latest suicide death note here... I don't mind sharing it because I trust my followers and I've gotten to know you guys and I love every single one of you even if one of you has hurt me a lot. I'm not gonna name who that is. I will ask that you do not share this note with anyone else or authorities. I ask that so pleadingly. Here you go, guys.

She doesn't love me... she can't love the monster I've become... She hates me... she hates me so much... They said she doesn't want me gone... but I don't think so... I'm gonna be gone... whether she likes it or not... I don't want to do this... but I have to... I gotta die... to save her... to save everyone else from me... I'm a monster... I'm a demon... I'm a mess... I'm a loser... I'm a hater... I'm a user... I'm obsessed for her love it ain't new... I gotta let go... but I just can't... I'm gonna die... it's going to happen... I'm probably gonna overdose on sleeping pills... This is a message to all of those who care... I love Breanna I really do. I would die for her just like now... some call me a fool but I don't care... my entire family calls me a fool... I'm not a fool... I'm a monster... I used to be so happy... Thanks for the wonderful life guys... Love you all...

Bye...

So yeah that's a suicide note. The latest suicide note. I was contemplating making one today... But I couldn't do that... Not to the people who love me... I just couldn't bring that sadness to others. I know I'm melodramatic and all that but I'm sorry if I come off that way. I know a wise man once said that I was strong for going through all the bullshit that I have. I don't personally agree with him but I want to thank Turtwig for being there for me and he has been a really good friend. I will see you all later my dudes I'm gonna try to keep living. Pure Placebo Out.