Things about me I guess and Co.

My depression story... Will it keep going?

Hey guys I'm gonna be honest here. My name is Hunter otherwise known as Pure Placebo. I'm a 17 year old junior in high school. Now what could possibly make me depressed. Well this is my story. It all started back in 5th grade or earlier I can't remember entirely. I would get bullied and hurt everyday and no matter how much I tried to get help it never stopped. Flash forward to 6th grade where a good portion of my friends turned against me and when I started fighting back getting myself in trouble and becoming an "emo" And becoming a "goth". 7th grade was no different same thing majority of my friends leaving me and me pushing into depression. I know what you're thinking 7th grade I was like 13 too soon for depression. Well you're wrong any age can get depression. Anyways, 8th grade came around and I was finally ready for a fresh start and ready for high school. Well my 8th grade year was actually a great year for me. I wasn't bothered much and I made new friends and I had my first girlfriend and I met someone who would mean a lot to me later on in this story but sadly good things come to an end. 9th grade year roles around and this is when the bullying started again because I wasn't fit more like fat. This is when my sarcastic attitude came back and I started to lose my childhood friend but of my own choice he was a douche and he started to join those bullies. Then around December or January I got with someone who would change my life forever at a price though. Her name is Bree and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She got me and she knew how I felt and we got together and for 7 long months we were happy. Yeah we had our fights here and there but it was good. Then the biggest mistake I ever made happened. We got into our hugest fight and it was all my fault and I don't really want to go into those details for my own sake. But we broke up and this swung me into a spiral of depression. I felt like I was gonna kill myself and I almost did but again she saved me. We stayed friends for 4 months and in September,start of 10th grade, we got back together and we stayed that way until December when we got into another huge argument which torn me apart and my mom had us stay away from each other for 2 weeks and in those 2 weeks she let me go and got with another which pushed me deeper into depression and I almost succeeded in killing myself but someone stopped me and this was also a huge mistake on my part.

My best friend at the time that you guys know by as Ava. She admitted that she had feelings for me and I was so desperate for love I accepted her right away and this went on for a day or two and we broke up because Ava had her feelings to figure out which I could respect. She stole my first kiss and I can't say I regret it. Until I got home that day. Bree messaged me telling me she heard that I already got a girlfriend and I said no because me and Ava broke up and then she tells me she knows we kissed and I knew I was in trouble. We got into a fight about it and I made the point why would she care about it? She had a boyfriend didn't she? Well to find out she lied to me to make me jealous which it did but she didn't think I could've actually gotten a girlfriend by sheer luck. But this is where I call myself a fool. I talked Bree out of suicide and she admitted that she still loved me and a part of me told me I shouldn't love her she has caused too much pain but the other side of me that won told me to keep loving her she'll be the one. I fully believed that she was the one for me and I was okay with that we got back together but it wasn't smooth this was probably the last time we would break up because this guy named... I don't even remember his name but he stole Bree from me after one of our fights and she neglects to tell me this for 2 fucking months. I find out and we ended it. I ended it because I had enough and I was tired of giving her chances. I was tired of being her play thing. But by the end in 10th grade all I want is Bree back. She was all I had and Ava hasn't really been around. Me and Bree became friends again and during March of last year I made another mistake. I went on a date with this girl who was pretty as hell and we were talking. It ended up in me and her getting into a makeout session and almost having sexual intercourse but her sister walks in on us and I didn't realize that her sister had feelings for me and it got really awkward after that and me and the girl split up and I can't say I'm sad about it. Yeah at the time I was but now I can't feel that. She hates me now and I don't know what I did it's still a mystery to me.

But now, in 11 grade all I want is Bree back more. She is all I have and I don't want to let that go. My love for her stays strong through all this torment and depression and Bree constantly talks to me about her couple problems and all I can think about is. "I could treat her better" I seriously could be he has been nothing but a douche bag to her for the past few months and she deserves better. I'm not saying I deserve her or she deserves me but she deserves better than him. I've wanted to kill this guy because he is hurting the love of my life. I know I sound like a fool for wanting her back but what can I say? I love her and I couldn't let that go. I tell her why doesn't she leave him. She tells me she's scared of being alone romantically and this where I just snapped. I told her she isn't wouldn't be alone she knows that she was just too blind to see it. At this point, I was ready to let go after putting out an emotional episode I was ready to let go of life but the unexpected happened. She kissed me well not in real life this happened over text but I could feel it. She tells me she still loves me and I ask why aren't we together then. She tells me she doesn't know and she doesn't make sense to me half the time but it gave me the small thread of hope that I still keep close to my heart. I know I may sound foolish but it's what I believe that's all I can say but now I'm thinking of ending this story. My life story. The story I worked every day on. Whether I liked it or not it is my story. Maybe this is the end of my story and I accept that. I want to thank everyone that was ever there for me I'm sorry I wasn't as strong as you guys. Shout out to Turtwig19 for being a great friend and liking these stories. I really appreciated you, bro, you're close to me. Shout to my friend Kelvin for being my best friend alongside Ava. Also, shout out to Ava for being my closest friend. I love you to death Ava and I'll miss you forever. Now for probably the most emotional shout out, I can do. Shout out to Satanic_Records otherwise known as Bree. Yes, the same Bree of this story. Our journey together was the best time of my life. I'm gonna miss you and I know you're gonna miss me. I love you, Bree, I really do. I hope it wasn't too late. I'm sorry but thank you. This wasn't your fault Bree it was my choice in the end. Goodbye...

Hunter signing out. 

Ash is our purest form...