Every Rose Has It's Thorns (Patrick Kane)

Sight Seeing

Maddie

I don't leave my house much for the four days we were in LA. Running into Jason and hearing he wanted forgiveness, it spooked me. I was upset that he had the nerves to even think that what he did was okay. I can forgive him for his actions, but I can never forgive him for his attitude and his selfish needs. He only wanted me to accept his apology so he could tell himself he did the right thing.

So I stay inside and play Wii games with Patrick and mess around with Titan. Besides doing a few shows at the Roxy and Staples Center I felt like I was back in Chicago. They really mean home is where the heart is because it's been following me around all tour and I haven't felt this comfortable my whole life.

"It's a beautiful day today, we should go outside and do something" Patrick insists.

"I don't really feel like it" I admit it. I see his face grow sad and I felt bad. He's not used to being here, he's curious to see the non hockey side of LA and knowing the things I know about this place. He wanted to see the city that so many of his favorite athletes and singers and actors live in. And I could show him but I was too afraid to leave the house.

"What's wrong? Like what's really wrong" he asks as he sits down next to me. He pulls me into his lap as I avoid his eyes at all costs.

"I guess I realized that after seeing Jason the other day I forgot how cruel this world was. Being with you made me feel so on top of the world, I felt like I could never hurt. And with you by my side I know I will never get hurt again, but that doesn't change the fact that I was hurt. That I was hurt beyond comprehension. I was 16 when that incident happened. That was five years ago and it still brings me pain like it was just yesterday, still scares the shit out of me that the people I care so deeply about can hurt me. The people I call friends and family are still capable of doing bad things to me.

When that happened no one helped me through it. I was surrounded by so many people yet I never felt so alone. My friends knew what happened but wouldn't talk about it because they're friends with Jason too. My father wouldn't even look at me, he was so disappointed, like I let that happen to me just to spite him. I don't get why he was mad at me, I only drank because he stressed me out so much and I didn't want to have sex with Jason or have it recorded. I guess he was just mad that I wasn't this perfect little girl he wanted me to be. But I made mistakes and I will continue making mistakes, a lot of them having some sort of effect on him. I guess he just wants it to be easy, but this is my life, not his, and no easy life is one worth living.

I don't know... I guess I'm just trying to shelter myself. I don't want to face the world because I'm scared I'm not strong enough again" I explain.

"But I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right beside you reminding you that you're stronger than you can ever imagine. You're not alone this time, I'm here for as long as you want me to be here" he says.

"I want you by my side forever" I say softly.

"Than I'm there baby. And I'm not just gonna let you sit there and hurt, so what can I do to make this better" he asks.

"I know a pretty good ice cream place not too far from here. We can go there and maybe go sight seeing" I offer and he smiles really big.

"That sounds like a lot of fun" he insists.

So I change our if my PJ's and we hit the town. I get us some ice cream and have someone take us around and I show him all the cool stuff. He recognizes some things from his favorite movies and I can tell that he's haveing fun. I'm happy he got me out of the house and into the sun, it felt good on my skin and I loved seeing his eyes shine like this.

"Oh my god, I totally forgot to tell you but I have a special guest coming to the concert tomorrow" I cheer.

"Who is it" he wonders.

"Celine Dion" I smile really big and his eyes nearly pop out of his head.

"Seriously" he gasps.

"Yeah! She called me yesterday and she was upset she missed the show the other night. She was in town to record some and wanted to come see the concert but she didn't get out of the studio in time. But I told her that I had the last show in LA tomorrow and she had me send her two tickets and you can meet her son that plays hockey too" I explain.

"That is seriously so cool. This year cannot get any better" he insists.

"It's only July, I wouldn't be so sure of that" I tease.

"Well I don't how much more excitement my heart can take, all of this stuff is going to make me age quicker" he jokes.

"That just means we're gonna grow older together quicker" I smirk. He stops walking and looks down at me before pulling me close. He brings me in for a quick kiss and I happily kiss him back.

"Maddie! Maddie" someone yells and I break apart. I see a guy with a camera and I knew that I had strayed too far from where I was supposed to be. So I grab Patrick's hand and we run back to the car that was driving us around today. We finally end up back at the house where we were protected. I order us dinner and we sit down to watch some baseball.

"I'm happy you got me out the house" I mention as I eat the pizza I got us.

"I'm happy you're feeling better. I hate knowing that what happened to you always burns on in your head" he insists.

"Yeah, it sucks. But I have far more good memories, a few of them having to do with you" I smile.

"Only a few" he chuckles.

"Only a few."