Every Rose Has It's Thorns (Patrick Kane)

Bad For Me

Madeline

I continue to try and write and I start to get some ideas but still not enough for a album. The lyrics just don't fit together or don't sound right and I wasn't about to force the pieces together if it doesn't belong there. It's nice that I'm making some headway but I'm still not where I should be.

Plus it doesn't help that I had a little blonde headed distraction that takes up a lot of my time, even if he's in some other city for hockey.

"So where are you now" I wonder as I lay back on my bed. Well, one of them.

"We're in Dallas for two days" he explains.

"Oh I love Dallas. They have the best BBQ" I insist.

"What should I do while I'm here" he wonders.

"Go to a karaoke bar! They're so much fun" I insist.

"I'm only 20" he reminds me.

"Hasn't stopped you before" I tease as he chuckles.

"Alright. You got me there. I'll see if some of the guys want to join me. I'll even do one of your songs" he promises.

"Then I want videos" I insist.

"I'll see what I can do" he claims.

After catching up a little more he lets me go and I head back to the piano. I play the chords that's been stuck in my head and wait for the lyrics to come to me. I feel like I started to get somewhere until someone buzzes me from the front gate breaking me from my zone. I see it's my dad on the security camera and I buzz him in. He sets his jacket in the closet before coming over to where I was sitting at the piano. He sits on the piano bench next to me and starts to play some low chords while I played what I had in the higher range. He was musically inclined too and I learned a lot from him. But he didn't understand the songwriting part.

"That sounds really good" he admits.

"Thanks. I just need to get some lyrics now" I say and he lets out a soft sigh.

"You should be almost down with this album by now if we want to get it out by the end of the year" he reminds me.

"You can't rush feelings dad. I'm making progress but I'm not going to rush it and put out something that I'm not proud of" I defend. I will never... and I mean never put out music I believe isn't good enough for my fans.

"Your fans and the label are getting restless" he tells me.

"And what if I can't get it done before the end of the year" I ask and he stares at me.

"People are going to move on from you to whatever the next big thing is" he claims.

"And why is that a bad thing" I question as he looks at me weird.

"Isn't this what you wanted" he asks as he points to all this meaningless stuff around us.

"I want to be a 20 year old kid. I want to have friends and go out and drink and eat food that's not good for me. I love music more than anything, but where music usually makes me feel better it's now causing me pain. I just need a break" I insist.

"This doesn't sound like you" he claims.

"This is what I've been trying to tell you but didn't because I had a feeling you wouldn't listen" I explain.

"I hear you but I just don't think you know what you're feeling. You're confused" he accuses.

"Confused about what" I question.

"Who you are and what you want to do. This has been your dream since you were a baby, things like that don't just up and vanish one day" he insists.

"They don't. This has been happening for a while now" I tell him.

"Does this have anything to do with you and that Patrick Kane boy" he asks and my eyes go big.

"How do you know about that" I whisper. Our relationship was very much on the down low, I haven't told anyone about it and it was mostly so my dad didn't find out.

"I went through your phone, I've seen the messages" he admits and I gasp.

"Are you serious? Dad I turn 21 in a few months, you can't just invade my privacy like this. This has nothing to do with music so you snooping through my stuff is not okay, far from it. I'm not a little kid who you have to watch over" I insist.

"But I am your manager" he reminds me.

"You're my father too" I huff.

"Okay. Then as your manager and as your dad I don't think you should be seeing this Patrick kid anymore" he claims.

"And why not" I ask.

"Because he has a reputation that could hurt yours. He's gotten into fights with cab drivers and is caught underage drinking and he plays hockey. He's not good for you" he insists.

"Being stuck in the music business at 16 was bad for me. Dating Jesse just because of who he was is bad for me. Letting people push me around and tell me what to do and how to feel is bad for me.

But Patrick... he's not bad for me" I tell him.

"He's a bad boy, that's literally his nickname. He's out on his own getting paid to play with a bunch of his friends and he just wants a famous girlfriend on his arm to show off to his little buddies" my dad accuses.

"And how would you know that? Have you hung out with him? Have you gone to his games? Has he taken you out and treated you like a human being for the first time since you can remember" I ask him.

"He's just a kid too. He tells you what you want to hear and you believe him because you want to. But I can assure you that this won't end up well. He's bad news" he promises.

"And then you'll get your songs like you wanted. So it's a win win for you huh" I ask and he stops. I can tell he didn't like that one as his expression grows angry.

"I can tell something has been off with you" he accuses.

"I hate to tell you this but this has been happening since way before Patrick was even here" I inform him.

"Why didn't you tell me" he asks.

"Because you wouldn't listen. Every time I tell you there's a problem with me you blame the first thing that pops in your head like you just did with Patrick instead of admitting that something is wrong. You can't admit that something was happening right under your nose because then your little world wouldn't be perfect like you try to sell it to be. Then you'll give me something I don't need like a hot tub in my house or some new earrings and think that fixes anything. But it doesn't, I'm still hurt and I can't tell you why. I don't know why" I sigh.

"I just want what's best for you" he says as he rests his hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know what that is, but I know what it's not" I say.

"How do I fix this" he asks.

"I don't know. But I can assure you that Patrick has already helped me out some and I'm not going to stop seeing him no matter what you say" I say and he laughs.

"Yeah, I kinda figured. I don't like him but I supposed I can try for you" he says.

"Thanks manager" I tease and he smiles.

"That's dad to you."