WINTER. changlix, seungjin

[28] already gone

i have a new seungjin fanfic on my page "MODEL" check it out if you want!

TW : SUICIDE
(SOME WORDS/SCENES MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME)

s e u n g m i n

it was three days before christmas day, and everyone was full of excitement and anticipation about the special day. we practically couldn't wait till christmas morning rolled around and we could rush downstairs to see an array of colorful presents, in all shapes and sizes. i don't know why, but christmas day always seemed like the most cheerful, happy day of the year,  at least for me. everybody was all enthusiastic and seemed to be in higher spirits during this time.

i, myself, was also very eager for christmas day to roll around. it was my favorite holiday because my dad was always home with me on that day, taking off of work. we spent the whole day hanging out with each other, and it always warmed my heart because i never really got to spend quality time with my father, and christmas was the one day of the year were i had him all to myself. sometimes i feel like i had been robbed of a good father-son relationship because of his absence, but i realized that the time that we did spend together was absolutely amazing.

after that awkward encounter with my dad when he caught me and hyunjin kissing, he had sat me down and had a serious conversation with me. me and my father didn't usually have those types of conversations with each other so it felt weird and uncomfortable, especially since it was about my love life. which, in the past, was non-existent.

he had asked me if me and hyunjin were dating, and i couldn't give him a proper answer. i didn't know where we stood on the terms of our relationship with each other, but all i knew was that i had strong feelings toward hyunjin, and not just as friends. i told my dad that i like liked him.

even though i knew my dad was an open-minded person, i still felt anxious waiting for his reaction. all of the stress building up inside me in that moment was worth nothing because my dad was, like i expected, completely supportive of me. he said that he'd always love me no matter what, but was afraid of what people would say about me. i reassured him that i didn't care what people thought, i loved me for me. i was happy with myself. i didn't need others validation. he was proud of me, and hugged me. not gonna lie, there were tears shed. but tears of happiness.

i knew that i was lucky because some parents didn't support their kids if they were anything but straight. i felt truly blessed and thankful to have a dad like mine.

since it was just a few days before christmas, all of my friends decided to have a little "christmas get together" at felix's house. they had claimed that me and hyunjin had been spending to much time together and he had been "taking me away from them." i kind of agreed because, i have, in fact, been hanging out with him a lot. i have been ignoring my friends a bit, and i felt pretty guilty about it. anyways, i was suppose to grab lunch with hyunjin tomorrow. it was the same situation with changbin and felix. ever since they started dating, they were off doing their own thing and it had been a while since we all hung out as 8.

so here we were, all 8 of us at felix's house, sitting around the couch, playing games and just catching up with each other. it felt so nice, and i was also so thankful to have such amazing friends who i could always count on. i had asked hyunjin if he wanted to join us but he politely declined, saying that him and his sister had plans with one another. i was glad for him. he had seemed more bright these past few days, it warmed my heart. i hated seeing him so sad, so i was delighted to see him getting better.