WINTER. changlix, seungjin

[1] daddy issues

f e l i x

  "ugh." i sighed, playing with my fingers out of pure and udder boredom.

my head rested on hyunjin's lap. i looks up at him, my eyes searching his face. he was conce-
ntrated very hard on the game he was playing on his phone, the screen illuminating his face brightly. he didn't even notice me staring at him.

i sighed again, louder this time, trying to get his attention. it had been like this for a while now. when we hang out, i always am extremely bored because he never talks to me much anymore. he always has his face in his phone, playing games or talking to some of his friends about some stupid thing i don't care about.

i would be playing my phone too but the problem is that i don't have it right now because my parents grounded me. if you ask me, the reason why they grounded me is pretty stupid. i got into a small fight at school, which was rare because i am a good student and quiet. this kid thought that me looking at him was threatening, and when the teachers asked who ignited the fight after it was over, this guy had the guts to say that i had started the fight. totally not true.

anyways, i don't why he got so mad. the fight lasted like on minute and he had me down on the floor in a headlock within the first 15 seconds. i spent the other 45 seconds getting punched in the face brutally while trying not to cry. i ended up crying in the end though.

to be honest, i wasn't even that upset that my parents grounded. the real reason i was mad was that hyunjin had been there when i was getting beat to a pulp, and he didn't even do anything to try to help me. i mean, he could at least tried yelling at the guy on top of me. isn't that what boyfriends are suppose to do for each other? but the only thing hyunjin did was watch at me. i remember locking eyes with him as i was getting violently punched in the stomach. there was absolutely no emotion in them. he might as well have been a robot or something.

i was getting tired of him deliberately ignoring me all the time. this had been going on for a long time now. i was starting to feel unimpor-
tant.

"ugh." i sighed loud once again, trying to get his attention for the last time.

he finally heard me. "what?" he asked, still focusing his eyes on the phone.

i took a deep breath. i usually tries to avoid negative topics that could affect our relationsh-
ip but this question had been floating in the back of my mind for a while now.

still twiddling with my fingers out of nervousn-
was, i spoke up. "are you getting tired of me?" my voice sounded small, barely a whisper, but it was enough for him to hear it.

he immediately put his phone away, lifted my head off his laugh, and turned me around to face him. i couldn't look him in the eyes. i was afraid of what i would see. anger? pain? sadne-
ss?

he grabbed ahold of both of my hands in his. i could already feel myself on the verge of tears. he hasn't even said anything yet, why do you always overreact everything?

"felix.." he says, his voice hollow. i had never heard him speak like this before, and i thought my heart could break right now. "why would you say something like that?"

i try to hold everything back, but i was about to start crying. i tried to speak up, finding words difficult to say. "i don't know... it's just that you never pay attention to me anymore. you're always busy. it's like you don't like me as much anymore.." my voice trailed off.

this room had gone silent. the only sound i could hear was hyunjin's breathing and the soft sound of me crying.

he took my face in his hands, making my heart skip a beat. i still couldn't find the courage to look up at him. i heard him take an unsteady breath before speaking. "look at me." his voice sounded like he was pleading, begging. i could feel him looking at me.

i didn't move. i couldn't. i stared at the comforter of his bed, suddenly finding interest in it. the thing that i had always dreaded was happening. i wanted everything to be okay. i wished that hyunjin and i had a perfect relationship without any problems. but i knew this wasn't a fairytale where everything is perfect. i knew something bad was about to happen. this couldn't end good. god is never really on my side when it comes to any situation.

"please." he whispered to me, desperate. i could feel myself giving into him, my heart slowly breaking.

i hesitantly looked up at him, scared of what i would be met with. his eyes where watering, making them resemble glazed newly cut glass. i was the one thing i dreaded seeing in his eyes. pain. i immediately regretted saying anything to him. i should've just kept quiet and dealt with him ignoring me all the time. i would take his pain and put in onto myself in the matter of a second if that meant that he could be happy and worry-free.

"you know that i love you right?" he asked, biting his lips to stop the sobs from coming out.

the question broke me inside and spilt me in half. did i really know that he loved me? sure, he had always told me that he loved me but him saying it right now made me think if he really did love me. surely he did. if he didn't, he wouldn't be here in front of me, crying and holding my face in his hands in such a delicate and protecting way.

i nodded slowly, my eyes wandering his face, not sure of what to look at. if i had shown any doubt in my answer, hyunjin didn't notice it. he smiled weakly. that smile that always made me fall in love with him more every day. i smiled back, genuinely. all the doubt of him not loving me left my mind. just being with him right now, in this very moment, made me happy.

silence filled the empty space once again. his eyes trailed down to my lips, and without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed me. the feeling of his lips on mine was like a wave of nostalgia and a sense of safeness. we had kissed many times before, but this one was different. it was as if, he was trying to hold onto me tight and show me that everything would be okay and that he did, in fact, love me.

i wanted to believe him.

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daddy issues - the neighbourhood

first chapter done whoop whoop
comments would be really appreciated cause im lonely and i kind of spent a long time just writing this one chapter. ive always has this idea in my head for this type of story with changlix. feedback makes my day and i ain't even overreacting lol.

thankss