WINTER. changlix, seungjin

[7] heart attack

c h a n g b i n

what was wrong with me? what was happening?

his smooth, silk-like hand cradled my jaw, gently holding onto it so i would keep my face still. the feeling of the cold cloth touched my forehead, sweeping across my the cuts above my eyebrow. i tried to not look at him, who sat across from me. the overwhelming feeling to meet his eyes flooded through me.

"look at me." he said, stopping my thoughts.

i gulped, a weird feeling passing through me. why did i not want to look at him? what was so difficult about that? i didn't move. i stared at the bed covers, wondering why i felt like this.

"changbin, you have to look at me so i can get this done faster." he says, referring to cleaning up my face from getting beat up.

i tried to push my weird thoughts deep down inside of me. i looked up at him, and my heart started to beat faster. he was focused on fixing me up, his eyes squinting to see better. i still felt the strong presence of his palm on my jawline, a weird sensation. it felt like he was holding me, keeping me safe. it was something i had never felt before. not with with my parents or aera.

before i knew it, tears started to silently fall down my cheeks. the pain of everything that i kept in over the past few months finally was being risen to the surface. i couldn't take it anymore. i felt like i couldn't breathe, like i was suffocating.

felix stopped what he was doing, and the feeling of his comforting hand on my face, keeping me safe, left me. he sat back, a concerned look on his face. "why are you crying? what happened?"

i couldn't find the words. all that came out where cries. i hid my face in my hands, feeling embarrassed. all kinds of emotions washed over me. what was that weird feeling in my stomach?

his hand found my thigh, gripping it gently. there it was. that feeling of safeness. "changbin, what's wrong?"

"i'm tired of it." i said, whispering, staring down at my his hand on my leg.

"tired of what?"

i laughed sadly. like why is this happening to me? out of all people? why me?  "all of it. everything. i'm just tired. i don't wanna keep doing this anymore."

"what are you talking about?" he asked, a worried tone to his voice. he scooted closer to me.

i didn't say anything. silence filled the room. i wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. that feeling scared me. i had never felt that before. i suddenly felt like i couldn't trust myself. i didn't want to be alone. i would do something that i would regret. i had a feeling that i would not only hurt myself but hurt people around me.

felix was becoming impatient. "changbin... c'mon, tell me what you mean by that. you're scaring me." an urgency filled his voice.

i was scaring me too.

"changb-"

i leaned forward and locked my arms around him, clinging onto him securely. at the moment, i didn't care about what i was doing. i just needed somebody. somebody i trusted, and loved.

it felt like the person i truly loved was felix.

did he feel the same way?

the hug, and sudden closeness of our bodies took him by surprise. he didn't hug me back at first, leaving me holding onto him in an awkward position. but then i felt his arms wrap around my back. i tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart. i knew what was happening, i just didn't want to admit it to myself.

"don't leave, please." i whispered to him, my chin resting on his shoulder. i sounded like a child pleading for something. i sounded pathetic. i was.

i heard him take a shaking breath.

"i'm not going anywhere."

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HEART ATTACK - CHUU (LOONA)

sorry for taking a while to update. i try to update in the span of 5 days. hope you all like this crappy chapter. it's semi-short so rip. anyways please leave some feedback on this. COMMENTS ARE HELLA APPRECIATED <3 thanks for reading.