If I Could Tell Him... [modern LAMS AU]

♡Chapter Twenty♡

John Laurens P.O.V

It hurts.

If you've never had a secret gay relationship with a bi guy, then you probably don't understand this feeling.

Imagine the person you love the most in this world.

Yes, yes. Very nice.

Now imagine them liking you back.

Even better! Right?

Now, imagine having to see that person smooch and hug a bitch every single day on the halls just because they care about their reputation.

Sucks, right?

Well, that's been my life for about half a year now.

And I've also got to add the sexual tension between Lex and Mar.

So, Peggy's basically in love with this girl. And I basically hate her. Well, it's not like I hate her. It's more of a stay away from my man hate her. She's actually kinda nice, but I just wish she'd stop flirting with Alex.

Yes. I did say flirting. She knows about us, but not everything, and that makes her bitchy.

But oh well. I'll just have to suck it up.

I'm sitting in class next to Alex. This is the best class of the day because it's the only one we have together.

Of course, Maria is here too.

Yay.

Professor Greene is writing something on the board and giving some sort of lecture about atoms being related to molecules but I don't really care.

I look at Lex. He looks beautiful. Most people wouldn't describe it that way since he has his long hair up in a really messy bun that's held together by a pen he found randomly in the floor, his eyes are scrunched because he can't really see the board, and his oversized black hoodie is full of fuzz balls. But I see a boy who doesn't care how people see him because he only cares about paying attention in class and keeping his scholarship.

And that makes him perfect.

A movement at the back of the class gets my attention and pulls me out of my sweet thoughts. I look back, trying to make it out.

Maria makes a paper ball and throws it at Alexander. He looks startled. After looking back, he opens the paper.

He frowns and once again makes it into a ball. He aims for the trashcan on the other side of the class.

He missed.

I give him a puzzled look. He just shakes his head reassuringly. It makes me worry more.

After what seems for forever, the bell rings. Everyone makes it out of the classroom except for me. I go for the trashcan. I pick up the mistreated paper ball and unfold it.

"Nice ass, petit lion ♡"

                                      - Mar

I gasp. I can't believe she said that! I have to talk to him.

But...

What if he is having something with her? Who am I to judge? I am his side guy. I can not call him out for cheating.

Fuck.

I need to talk this out. But with who? Let's examine my options:

Laf & Herc: don't know.