If I Could Tell Him... [modern LAMS AU]

♡¢нαρтєя тнιятєєи♡

Alexander Hamilton P.O.V.

I open my eyes as I jerk up, gasping for air. Sweat covers my face and tears run through my cheeks.

I try to steady myself as I cope with what I had seen. John. Burr. Death.

I start looking for air, though I can't seem to breathe. I look around, but the tears block my vision. I'm having a breakdown.

I feel hands on my shoulders. I try to break free from the strong grip. Whatever is grabbing me, is stronger than me.

"Alex, breathe."

But I can't. All I can think about is John.

I felt the hands wrap around my body. Warmth. I relax instantly. I open my red and teary eyes. I look down.

The arms holding me are covered in freckles.

I turn to see John's head resting on my shoulder. His green eyes look up at me with honest concern.

"Y-you're alive...?" I ask confused, the tears still lurking. He cocks an eyebrow. He takes a hand from my chest and takes it to his neck, checking for pulse. "Yup! seems like it."

Before he can react, I turn and throw my arms around him. He hugs back, still confused. I cry on his shoulder. It had been just a horrid dream.

"Alex, what happened?" He asks. I tell him about the dream. Of course, I didn't include the I love you part. He looks at me.

"It was all just a bad dream, y'know?" I look at him nodding. I appreciate his morning face, his messy hair, and the bags under his eyes, that accentuated the beauty of his eyes. He was perfect.

"I wouldn't doubt to trade my life for yours, though," he mumbles, in a way that is almost imposible to hear. But I did hear it.

"What...?" I ask, surprised. He blushes, realizing he had been caught.

The room falls silent. We sit there, staring at each other. I look into his beautiful eyes.

"I... I mean..." He sighs. " Guess there's no point in hiding it anymore."

I smile. I don't know why, but I do. He smiles back.

He starts moving his face closer to mine. I blush. I don't know what to do.

Our noses touch. He stares into my eyes, and I reciprocate. We stay like this for a few seconds. They couldn't have been more than five, but they seemed endless.

He gets closer. I feel his breath on my face. He looks down at my lips. I can't do this anymore.

I shorten the little distance between us and his face in my hands. I kiss him.

I taste his lips. They taste like strawberries. They are soft to the touch and warm.

He melts into the kiss. He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me tight.

This isn't like the kiss from the night at the lake house. This kiss is tender and willing. I can tell John wants this.

We fall down into the bed. He pulls away for air.

We look into each other's eyes blushing.

"Did... Did that just happen?" He asks, a little overtaken by surprise.

I nod. I start to think about everything. I have a girlfriend. Her name is Eliza. What am I doing?!

John seems to realize this too, for he sits back up and runs a hand through his hair.

"I just kissed my best friend's sister's boyfriend...." He says. If I weren't the boyfriend, I would have laughed.

But I don't. Because he's right. I just cheated on my girlfriend, with my best friend. Why do I feel like everything is gonna go to shit from now on?

I look at John. His eyes are crystalline, and he looks like he's about to cry. I grab his hand with mine, and with the other one I touch his cheek. He looks at me.

"John, what we did was wrong..." He looks down. Disappointment is all I can see in his face.

"But..." His eyes brighten when I say that word.

"If kissing you, if loving you, is wrong, then I don't ever want to be right."

I see the brightest, biggest smile I've ever seen. He hovers over me and kisses me. I kiss back, smiling into the kiss.

I run a hand through his curly locks of hair as he hugs me tightly.

That's when I hear a small gasp coming from the door.

.•°•.

Ye I'm back. Sorry for not updating but school and life happened and yeah. Also, this new Wattpad update is annoying af.