The Unknown Road

70 - Tessa

I DIDN'T WANT TO leave. University seemed like a ridiculous prospect when I had so much going on in every other aspect of my life at the moment.

Archie being home had been a lot more complicated than we all thought. And despite promising me he'd be better, as soon as he got home, he retreated inside himself and has remained shut in his room for the last five days.

That was until yesterday. I came downstairs wondering where he was because his door was open for the first time in four days. Dad had told me he'd gone for a walk, but I could tell from the worried look on his face that he'd been out for longer than would be deemed normal...  even for Archie's.

Knowing he would probably call if he got into trouble, we all sat in the living room and pretended to watch a movie, but I knew Dad was doing the same as me. He was watching the door for any sign of him coming home, as well was checking his phone for any sign of whether he was okay or in any trouble.

About an hour later, Millie got a flurry of texts and apologised as she dashed out the door.

An hour after that, Millie came in the door and went straight up to bed. Ten minutes later, Archie followed, and with blood on his shirt collar and neck. Seeing the blood I dashed straight over to check he was okay but he pushed me away, saying he was fine, and that he was just tired. He never even gave us a chance to ask about where the blood came from.

When I heard the door slam, I turned to Dad and he just shook his head, telling me that people healed in their own way.

I shouted back that Archie wasn't healing, and me going away wasn't going to help him get better. Of course Dad knew what I was getting at and told me there was no way in hell I was dropping out. Before I could say anything more, I heard his door slamming, leaving me all by myself in the living room.

Since Matt died it was like the life had been sucked out of the family, and I hate that none of us seem to be able to get a handle on anything.

Turning off the light I decided Dad was right. With Archie not seeming to care about anyone or anything anymore, and with the overwhelming pressure on my shoulders of basically holding what was left of this family together, I knew all I could do was get a good night's sleep and hope that whatever bump or scrape Archie seemed to have got himself into would eventually help jog him out of his ridiculous attitude.

***

MY EYES OPEN HEAVILY, and my body feels like lead.

The excitement I felt about going to university six weeks ago has now turned to dread, and I actually feel sick about the prospect of being nearly five-hundred miles away from home when everybody needed me. But as I think about what Dad had been saying over and over, about how I should start living my life because that's what Matt would have wanted, I find my second wind and swing my legs over the bed.

My stuff wasn't quite all packed yet - I still had a few last minute things to sort - but Dad and I were leaving after lunch, staying with Mum and Mark for one night and then making the rest of the trip up tomorrow, all four of us as Mum didn't want to miss it, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I think I also heard them all discussing having a little holiday afterwards as well, seeing Nan and Grandad, and I think it's exactly what they all need. I know, with Archie being as difficult as he's being, they haven't had a chance to breathe... and I for one know that the time away from home will do Dad a lot of good.

I was a bit worried about leaving Archie and Millie by themselves, especially Archie, but  I think Dad wanted Archie to prove he could trust him, and if Dad could trust him... then maybe I could too.