The Unknown Road

20 - Archie

WHEN I OPEN MY eyes, the first thing I see makes me feel like I'm dreaming.

Tessa is lying in front of me. She's asleep, her mouth open slightly, her face no more than an inch from mine. She has her hand on my cheek, her feet tangled with mine and she's holding my other hand close to her.

She looks utterly beautiful and all I can do is stare and hope this isn't a dream, as I can't use either of my hands to pinch myself.

Her body is flushed as close to mine as possible, and I have my hand on her hip, which I don't want to move in case I wake her. I'm still shirtless, after my big reveal, but I was now starting to get cold. And I'm torn between heat and not wanting to disturb her.

I choose not to move.

Instead, I smile, reliving what just happened.

***

I KIND OF KNEW, or at least I had an inkling, that she felt the same way I do. But I was never expecting her to turn around and say I love you. Especially after what I'd just admitted. I wouldn't have been surprised if she hadn't been able to handle it and just walked away. But then again, this is Tessa we're talking about, and I know Tessa can handle absolutely anything.

I've been in love with Tessa for years, and it was about time I admitted it both to myself and to her, and it seemed she did feel the same, no matter what I told myself. I'd taken a big gamble, and it had paid off.

Whenever I've said it to Dee I know I haven't meant it. I didn't have that same warm, fuzzy feeling in my belly whenever I saw or spoke to her, so I therefore know it wasn't true love.

I think I loved her in a first girlfriend kind of way. But, to be honest, I only said it back yesterday because I felt like I had to, rather than wanting to.

The 'I love you' I said to Tessa though? That I meant.

With Tessa it has always been easy. And now I had faith it was going to be like being in love with your best friend. I mean, that's exactly what Tessa is to me: my best friend. She always has been and she always will be, no matter what happens beyond this point.

I felt awful when I'd seen Dee with Callum.

I grind my teeth at the thought, not believing she'd done that to me when she's been giving me stick about Tessa for all this time.

And worse, she'd been cheating on me for months. And I hadn't even realised.

I was annoyed at myself as well. The fact she's been sneaking around with Callum for so long showed just how much attention I had actually been paying her. If only I'd opened my eyes... I would have seen it. She'd practically given me a get out of jail free card, but I just never took it.

I shake my head at myself, wondering at how I could have been so unbelievably stupid.

But then my thoughts turn to Tessa. She'd clearly got very good at hiding how she felt because of the fact I was with Dee.

But now that I was thinking about it, I started to realise why she'd been acting differently. More often I'd noticed she no longer hung out with us as a group, especially when it was just Matt and me. She did when Millie was there, and I hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but it was now all beginning to make sense. And again I couldn't believe how oblivious I'd been to it all. It was actually laughable how much of an idiot I'd been.

Millie knew. And Charlotte. The two of them make comments all the time, and I'd heard Tessa denying them. They both clearly respect Tessa enough to let her make her own decisions. Millie is perceptive on those kinds of things, and I ultimately had her to thank for today. I can't help but be a little annoyed at her for not voicing her opinions earlier.