Decisions, Decisions

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Seokjin made it back home right after his confrontation with Shownu and Kihyun, deciding to cook dinner and hopefully gather the courage to tell Namjoon. He had apologized already, so hopefully that will make his husband happier than what he was about to tell him.

If Namjoon already knew, there's not a single doubt in Seokjin's head that he's filed for a divorce.

He had a realization after Namjoon left. He was being childish. Everything he had done in the past, the way he treated people up until now, was just plain wrong. He didn't want to set that example to his girls. He didn't want them to be petty bitches like the ones that bullied him in school. Plus, he knew that if he didn't change soon, he'd lose the love of his life since he was a freshman at college. But, not only had this changed him, something else has.

Seokjin is pregnant.

Shortly after their fight, Seokjin had felt nauseous all day but when their fight broke out he finally stressed himself to get sick. What he had thought had been stress puking, turned into something more when he tried to cook with milk and the smell made him throw everything, if it hasn't been already, up.

Milk has never made him sick, and he always used it for cooking and for his morning shakes. If he can't drink milk, he's going to have a problem. And that's what triggered him to go buy a pregnancy test after just putting the girls to bed. He bought a couple, and after taking the first and it coming back immediately that he was pregnant, he knew he had to change.

It all made sense now why he was acting the way he was acting. The mood swings, not just towards Namjoon and everyone else but sometimes to his co-workers. The weird midnight cravings such as pickles and peanut butter. But what scared him more was the unexpected surprise, he doesn't know how far along he is and it terrified him that he didn't know until now.

So, the next day he took a personal day, and while his family was away he scheduled a rushed appointment with his doctor to confirm his suspicions, and the results came back that he is in fact pregnant. He wasn't showing for it, but he turned out to be fourteen weeks pregnant. Why he wasn't showing he didn't know, and after asking the doctor how he could've missed it, the doctor just simply shrugged and responded:

"Sometimes, life throws us a curveball thrown when you have two outs, three balls, and two strikes. It's us to have to decide if we want to hit the ball and win the game or miss it and lose."

The baby could sit more towards his back, which would also explain the pain in his back he was always experiencing and why he always got a back rub from Namjoon. After all of this, he made the decision to apologize to the smaller man and his husband, especially after knowing that Kihyun was in the hospital and almost lost his baby because of him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself after that.

So, to get back on everyone's good side he has decided to make a delicious meal and hopefully explain everything to Namjoon. Also, it may be a bad time, but he felt he better introduce the newest member as well.

The girls got home and were ushered to go play outside or with Mayleen. He finished cooking and setting the table just in time when Namjoon got home a little later than normal. Seokjin's smiles slightly, "Hi baby, how was your day?"

Namjoon doesn't say anything, grabbing a beer and opening it. He takes a drink before sighing, "After the girls get put to bed tonight, we need to talk."

Seokjin's smile drops and he nods slowly, "I agree, we do."

Namjoon nodded once, turning his back from Seokjin and leaving the kitchen, "Call me when dinner is ready."

"Okay," Seokjin whispers, swallowing the large lump in his throat as he finishes setting the table, then calling the girls in to come eat.

"Go wash up," He ushers them to the sink, "Warm, soapy water girls. Just like mommy taught you."

"Is daddy going to eat with us?" Jiyoo asks as she washes her hands.

"Why don't you go ask him," Seokjin smiles sadly, "Let's all eat together as a family."

Jiyoo nods and went with her sister to go grab their father, Seokjin dipping their plates and grabbing a juice for each of them. He pours a glass of water for him and Namjoon, the girls entering with Namjoon in tow. Seokjin smiles, "Girls you didn't have to drag him."

"Yes we did because he wouldn't listen mommy," Jiwoo states, "Daddy move your big butt!"

"Excuse you Daddy does not have a big butt," Namjoon chuckles, walking to his seat and sitting in front of the plate of food.

He hasn't given Seokjin one look and kept his eyes on his dinner the entire time. Seokjin was starting to grow upset and wanted him to say something, but it's as if he refuses. Dinner passed by with tension, and when the girls were done Seokjin made them go rewash their hands and was finally let alone with Namjoon.

He turns to his husband and his eyes were starting to burn as he looks at him, "I'm sorry, please say something."

Namjoon puts his fork down noisily and wipes his mouth on his napkin. He had a folded up piece of paper in his back pocket, and pulls it out handing it to Seokjin, "I filed for a divorce today."

Seokjin's heart drops and he felt as if a hole had been punched in his chest. He stares down at the papers as Namjoon unfolds them and places them in front of Seokjin. Seokjin's lip wobbles as he looks back at the man he loves, "Really?"

Namjoon nods, "Yep, I've had enough of this. I put up with this for five years. Five, Seokjin. I want to mature and grow up, but it doesn't seem like you want to. Not only have you shown that with your refusal to see you're the problem, but it's the way you just cause shit to keep your life interesting. Isn't having kids and being married enough? Do you just want more drama?"

Seokjin couldn't help it as he lets out a sob, covering his face with his hands as he cried. Namjoon felt guilty, but he had to say what needed to be said. Seokjin wipes his eyes, his lips still pulled up as he cried, he pulls out his phone and pulls up a photo he downloaded from his appointment today, holding it, "I wanted to tell you this today, thinking maybe it'll make things better for us. But now I see it won't."

He shows Namjoon the photo of his ultrasound they took of his baby, showing Namjoon the proof that it was their baby with the name and date at the top left hand corner. Namjoon's heart races and he shakes his head, "This isn't real. This isn't mine-"

"Yes it is," Seokjin assures, "I'm fourteen weeks, trace that back to when we were visiting my parents and you fucked me in the hot tub there. You didn't wear a condom and even though I took my birth control I forgot it that day. But a week after I quit taking it because it was affecting my moods. Remember?"

Namjoon closes his eyes, not saying anything as he stands and hands the phone back, "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to counseling, working on our marriage and try to get that spark back. If it works, we'll shred these divorce papers. If not, we'll wait until the baby is born before separating."

Seokjin sniffles, wiping his face of any leakage, "I apologized to Kihyun today. And Shownu, I realized what I did was wrong and how I came about them was wrong. Kihyun said he forgives me, but it will take him some time to come around and get over it."

"Yeah, because you almost made them lose their baby," Namjoon snorts, "I wouldn't talk to you at all, nor would I have forgiven you that easily," he sighs, "Alright. I'll call tomorrow and get us an appointment for counseling. Until then, prove to me you're changing and I'll shred those papers in pieces."

Seokjin nods, "I love you."

Namjoon doesn't say anything as he walks out of the room, leaving Seokjin to sit there and cry as he stares at his ultrasound photo. He made a promise, then and there, that he will get him and Namjoon fixed up for their baby's sake and for his own. He would rather lose himself than lose Namjoon.

~•~

Kind of an intense chapter, but we're getting there!

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