so far it's alright

Twenty *adult content*

+chapter contains adult content and some drug use+

My brother had gotten to Sam's before the guys did, his roommate began dancing with Chelsea right away. Sam, Gabbie, Caroline, and some boy that Gabbie has brought we're playing some card game that seemed to also involve drinking in the kitchen so I took the time to talk to my brother about Matty.
"Ew so you actually like him? I didn't realize you had feelings still," Chris laughed as he heckled me.
"Yes. Also I punch Rowan in the face the other night, that's sort of how I figured out that maybe I did like Matty."
"Maybe you like me? Ouch that hurts."
The music had been so loud I hadn't heard Matty George Ross and Adam come in.
"Sneaking up on me makes me like you a little less," I laughed greeting Matty with a hug waving to the others as they headed into the kitchen.
"I still want to hear about you hitting Rowan though, I'm sad I missed that."
"It was wicked," Matty began telling my brother the story animatedly, "Rowan dyes her hair to match your sisters and for a half second she almost fooled me. Before I even got to tell her off Jace stormed over and yanked her off me. She even fell when she hit her."
My brother and Matty were both almost in tears laughing by the end of the story.
"You truly are a badass older sister I guess."
Chris followed everyone to the kitchen leaving just Matty and I standing in the living room. He took the opportunity of us being alone to kiss me, it was deep, the kind of kiss that reminds you that someone really cares about you, but also that you want to tear their clothes off. When our lips separated the both of us were breathing heavily.
"We should probably go see everyone."
Dragging him into the kitchen I handed him a beer from the fridge. The chairs around the table were full of our friends so I hopped up into the counter, Matty settling against me. I laughed along with everyone enjoying spending time like this with everyone.
"Play this with us Jace! Alex give her your seat you've lost the last three times anyway."
I took the seat Chris' roommate had been sitting in letting Sam explain the rules of the game to me as she dealt our cards. We played a few rounds I was definitely doing better than Alex had but soon my drink was gone, since drinking was a big part of it I gave my spot to Ross, grabbing drinks for Sam and Chelsea so they could continue the game. Gabbie and his friend along with George Caroline and Matty had migrated back to the living room. Carrie was dancing poorly with Gabbie, so poorly I couldn't help but join them. My eyes met Matty's where he was sat on the couch, something in his eyes looked distracted. I only saw the distance in his face for a split second then he was off the couch with his arms around my waist. We spun and swayed on the floor for hours grabbing shots that were handed to us here and there.
"I'm heading out, see you soon ya?" My brother came over to me pulling me momentarily from Matty's arms.
"Yes! I'll make you and Alex dinner, it'll be fun!"
Laughing the two of them headed into the chilly night. Around the room I could see that most of our friends had settled in spots on the couch, Gabbie and his date had left. I didn't seem Adam anywhere, and it seemed that Chelsea left with my brother and Alex. I giggled at the thought of Chelsea and Alex together silently hoping she wasn't leaving to be with Chris.
"Matty called a cab for us it'll be here soon. I'll come back tomorrow to help you clean up and grab my car. Who else is spending the night?"
"I think everyone that's still here is crashing here, except possibly Caroline and George," giggling Sam pointed to the kitchen. Caroline was sitting on the counter, George was leaning close next to her one hand on her thigh. Both of them had huge smiles on their faces.
"Good luck if they stay," I winked.
Matty snuck up behind me lifting me off my feet with a squeal. He shouted his goodbyes as he dragged me out the door. Capturing me in a kiss as he puts me back down so my feet meet the floor I push against him even more trying to soak up every bit of warmth he has.
"It's freezing is the cab here?" I ask him pulling just far enough from his mouth to speak.
"Yes but I could wait to kiss you anymore."
The heat is blasting in the cab but the ride still feels endless. Every few minutes Matty leans in to kiss my cheek, or neck, or whatever part of me he can get away with. Saying a quick thank you to the driver as he pulled up to my place I practically ran to my door with Matty close behind me.
"You're so gorgeous," he whined pressing against my back as we stepped inside.
Before I got my jacket unbuttoned all the way down Matty was already peeling it off of me with my flannel trapped inside it.
"Are you in a rush babe?" I saw turning in his arms to face him.
"Not in a rush just a little excited," placing kisses along my jaw between each word he said  as he backed me towards the stairs.
"I'll meet you upstairs, I'm going to grab some water. I'm certain we'll both need it in the morning."
He huffed but agreed after giving me another breath taking kiss. I stayed in the hall watching his lanky form stumble a little on the way to my room. Kicking my boots off I hurried to the kitchen grabbing two cold water bottles to bring upstairs. I was greeted in my room by the view of Matty in just boxers standing in front of the radio picking through a playlist. Trying to stay quiet I placed the waters down on my vanity, wrapping my arms around his hips. I slipped my thumbs into the band of his fitted boxers tracing circles around his hip bones. He turned in my arms to face me, the look is his eyes heating up my entire body.
"Doesn't seem fair that you're still fully dressed love."
Slowly he undid the button and fly on my shorts, untucking my shirt before sliding them down. His mouth stayed on mine every second as he yanked my tights off lifting me off the floor to sit on the desk where my radio was. Tearing my mouth away from his I kissed down his jaw pulling his hair to make his head tilt back farther.
"Jace," Matty groaned his hands roaming under the shirt still covering most of my body.
Before I could lose what little control I had over Matty in the moment I pushed off the desk, dropping to my knees in front of him. I smiled up at him as the last article of his clothing fell to the floor around his feet. My name fell from his lips again as I took his length in my mouth, slowly trailing my tongue around his tip. When his hands tangled in my hair I knew I'd lost control. He was controlling how fast I moved my head now, still giving me encouraging noises as I tried not to let him gag me. Without warning Matty pulled me off him, bringing me to his face by the hair. Our mouths collided again parting for just enough time to get my shirt over my head. Placing me back on the desk Matty ran his fingers gently over my barely covered center, silently I praised myself for picking such barely there panties.
His calloused hands could feel so soft sometimes it amazed me. The fingers pressed against my core were so gentle in comparison to the hand wrapped around my throat keeping my mouth close to his. After teasing for what felt like an eternity his fingers left tearing the small panties off of me before he dropped his face to where I wanted to feel him the most.
"Matty," I gasped. His wild mane of curly hair tickled across my thigh while his mouth worked over me relentlessly.
Gasping as Matty's fingers joined his mouth, I used the hand that wasn't keeping me from toppling the radio off my desk to weave my fingers through his dark hair. I fell apart in front of him, moaning out his name. He didn't let me get off the desk yet though, before I had the chance to move he was at my entrance.
"I can't wait to feel you."
I almost screamed as he pushed into me, the radio shaking behind my back. Matty's teeth grazed my collar bone. Lifting my body off the desk as if I weighed nothing he backed towards the bed sitting himself on the edge of it. Obscenities flew out of our mouths when they weren't pressed against skin.
"Matty, baby I'm so close," I stuttered out.
Before I could take another breath Matty flipped is over hooking one arm under my leg, the other giving each of my breasts attention on its way to lay on my throat.
My back arched off the bed as my release exploded through me, crying out Matty's name as his hand tightened slightly around my neck. His thrusts became shorter, panting my name over and over.
"God Jasey."
As the words fell from his mouth he collapsed against me, kissing every inch of skin he could reach with out moving his body. We laid there panting for several minutes neither of us willing to break away from each other after the sensations we'd both felt.
"Did you bring water up?" Matty asked quietly.
"They're on the vanity."
I felt cold as Matty peeled himself away from me, planting a kiss on my sternum with a smile. Sitting up I watched his naked form walk across the room. Goosebumps covered my skin from the chill in the room, and from the thoughts still flooding me about all the ways he made me feel. I stood from the bed finding his discarded shirt from earlier to cover myself with as I walked to the bathroom. The bright lights in the bathroom made me squint, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My lips were swollen, red from Matty's touch, and tugging the collar of the shirt down I could see a few bite marks along my chest.
Back in the bedroom Matty had pulled the blankets back for me to join him. He pulled me close against him as soon as my body hit the sheets. Murmuring into my hair.
"I really am falling for you Jasey, I know you aren't sure about how you feel yet. Just know that I don't ever want to hurt you."
Knowing my words wouldn't express how I felt I held him tighter against me. Peppering kisses against his tattooed chest.

Unsure of how long I'd been asleep for I reached across the bed for Matty, finding only the blankets. Prying my eyes open I sat up planning to remove my contacts before finding Matty. I found Matty before even moving from the bed. He was sat on the floor at the end of the bed, from the dim fairy lights around the room I could see a sheen of sweat on his pale shoulders.
"Matty, baby are you okay."
I crawled to the end of the bed resting my hand softly against his back. His skin was clammy and at the touch of my hand he startled, attempting to wipe his face to hide the tears staining his face. From how red his eyes were I'd have to guess he'd been up for a while.
"I'm so sorry Jasey," his voice broke as he spoke, "I just wanted to have some fun, but after you fell asleep everything just went bad."
I crawled off the bed wrapping my arms around his shaking shoulders, still with no idea what he was going on about.
"Matty what do you mean just tell me what's wrong."
"I took something from Alex, acid or something. I shouldn't have but he offered and it's been so long, I'm sorry."
Tears started to fall from his eyes again even as his breath steadied, making it really hard to be mad. Having never taken anything like that I didn't have any idea how he felt.
"What can I do to help you calm down?"
He just shook his head.
"There has to be something Matty."
Again he shook his head.
"Fine, but at least get back into the bed and lay down. I promise I'll stay up with you."
He finally nodded. We both stood up still holding one another. Pulling the blankets back over his now shivering body I felt my own eyes begin to water.
"Please don't cry Jace, I never want to make you cry. It's just the come down is so hard, especially when I shouldn't have taken anything to begin with."
"I don't know what you mean, I've never taken anything like that."
"Everything seems so good when I'm high, unless the trip goes dark. When you fell asleep and I was alone in your room, it hit me that soon I'll have to tour."
Though his eyes were still glassy the more he spoke the more he seemed to relax. I ran my hands through his hair as he continued to speak softly.
"It's like when you wake up from a good dream, but then you're disappointed in your real life. Or when you finish reading a book, and then the world around you seems distant. You're the only thing that still seems,"
Before he could finish I placed a short kiss on his lips.
"If you knew how bad the come down was why did you do it?"
"Honestly, because I could. The high is almost always worth it."
I stared at him silently for a while. Laying with him like this it was hard to picture him leaving so soon. At the same time maybe it would be good for us. He obviously had strong feelings for me, but on the road with people offering him all kinds of drugs not to mention the girls. His eyes were beginning to flutter closed. Matty hadn't given me reasons to distrust him when it comes to other women, but if he had a night like this on the road what would happen. The clock read 5a now. His face had finally relaxed looking younger and more innocent than I'd ever noticed before. I pressed my mouth to his forehead once more. Curling my body into his I let myself close my eyes too, pushing this incident to the back of my mind. I knew I'd need some rest to talk to Matty when he woke up.