Every Rose Has It's Thorns (Patrick Kane)

Livin' The Dream

Madeline

It's not every day that you get to live out your dreams. Not a lot of people ever get to do what they love for a living. As a kid you wanted to do so many things then you get older and realize that what you want isn't what is actually conceivable. Not everyone can be a police officer or president or most famous person in the world. Me? I consider myself a lucky one. I started off young finding my passion and being recognized for it. You know, talent shows and school things. I know that I'm blessed that my life was set on a track to fame and fortune even when I was young. So many little girls and boys want to sing when they grow up but only a select few get to actually do it. And I am very happy to be a part of that minority.

When I was just 14 years old I was found by a talent scout. I uploaded a video of me singing and playing my guitar just for fun and almost instantly it was a hit. I got about a million views within a week and was invited on Oprah and Ellen, it was crazy. I had people begging to work with me and I had no idea how to handle the nearly instant success that found me. I was barley a teenager but I had plenty of experience with music writing and composing growing up. I did choir my whole life and even sang at church and in local a cappella groups. I always seemed to be in my head dancing to the music in it and now I got to share it with the world. When I was younger my friends and I messed around a lot and teased that we would make a good band and would be famous, but singing was never just a hobby to me like it was to them. Singing and music was my life. I was inspired by it, driven by it, and I admired it. I wanted nothing more than to be just like my favorite artists.

And by the time I was 16 I was well on my way to being everything I hoped I would be. I had just gotten signed to a record label and started recording albums and featuring on tracks with some pretty cool people. I was being homeschooled by my mom from the time I was 14 until I was 17 and managed by my dad my whole career so he could still be a part of my life. He was into this kind of business so I knew I could trust him. Plus he would do anything to make sure I was safe and sound. Everything kind of fell into place as I started to rise into fame. My first album was a hit and I got to work with some amazing people along the way. Soon enough I was doing songs with Bruno Mars and Kelly Clarkson and even Justin Timberlake. I was making a name for myself and I was making memories that were beyond my wildest dream.

But what got lost in it all was my childhood, my blind happiness, my pure inspiration. And while I was looking for all of that, all I found was depression. I found days so dark that there was no light around me, no light it me. It was just constantly dark and just when you think it's finally over it gets even darker. I had lost my innocence pretty early, that's what happens when you're young and famous and in LA for the first time at the age of 14. I lost a lot of people I thought I couldn't live without along the way and my dating life was pretty much non existent. I had a boyfriend for a while but it was set up and I wasn't half as into him as he was with me. My dad pretty much controlled every aspect of my life no matter how personal and for a while I was okay with that. But I'm almost 21 now, I don't want to be controlled. I want to live a real life where everything isn't printed out on a color coded schedule for me to follow down to the punctuation. I would love to just be me for once and not who everyone needs me to be.

"Maddie! It's time to go" my dad yells out from the first floor of my three story house. I finish putting in my earrings in and look at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror in my walk in bathroom. I let out a long sigh as I stare into my bright hazel eyes. They were surrounded by eyelashes that were still mine and makeup that was not. My light brown hair was straightened so it reached my sides and fell down my back like a waterfall. I won't let them do anything crazy to it because this was my hair and I didn't want to loose it. My big red lips sat in a small smile that wasn't real but wasn't fake either. It was just there. My tiny body was covered in black material that was snug but still let me move around in. I don't like to dress up too often but when my dad tells me to, I do. That's how it goes around here.

I tuck a long strand of hair behind my ear as I let out a sigh. Here goes nothing.

I join my father downstairs and after a quick discussion he gets me into a limo that was waiting for me outside. We head into downtown Chicago where there was thousands of people waiting to see me. To just get a glance of me passing by. I had a little meet and greet going on as my return home from LA and I was honestly excited for that part. I always loved meeting fans and especially the ones from here at home. It makes my heart happy to see kids who were just like me not too long ago. I just wish things were better so I could enjoy stuff like this more.

"What's wrong angel" my dad asks as I stare out the window. The city lights flash by as I stare off into the darkness that surrounds it.

"Nothing" I sigh.

"Are you sure" he asks and I turn to him. I silently nod and I know he doesn't believe me but lets it go. He hates thinking there is even a chance of something being wrong so he decided to ignore the warning signs. Must be nice.

We arrive at the Chicago theatre where I get escorted inside. I try to ignore the flashes of the camera but it's hard when it doesn't ever seem like they'll stop. But eventually we get in there and the body guards take off for a little. I go to my dressing room to get touched up and listen to some music. I get lost in my own world as I stare at myself in the mirror.

"How did you get so beautiful" my mom asks as she places her hands on my shoulders. I give her a small smile as she looks at me in the mirror.

"I got it from you" I tease.

"Don't tell your dad that" she jokes causing me to giggle. I let out a long sigh and my moms face starts to fall. "What's wrong baby girl" she asks.

"I don't know. This just doesn't feel right. At first it was fun then I was kind of expecting the craziness, but now it's getting old. And I'm not talking about meeting my fans or making music. I'm talking about being here for the reasons I am. Just because people want me to be. Isn't there more to life than answering to other people all the time" I ask.

"Of course baby. But you're still young, you have time to live your life" she claims.

"When" I question. She doesn't answer right away as she thinks about when the day where I can control my own destiny is.

"I don't know sweetie. But I'm sure your day will come" she says.

After I sign autographs and take pictures and sing a little I'm taken back to the dressing room. I take off the makeup and pull my hair back out of the way. I wait for everyone to leave before I head back to my limo and they drop me off at home.

I let out a long sigh as I go to my fridge. I grab a bottle of water before sitting on the couch and turning on the tv. I see a video of me from earlier up on the news and sigh. If only I was as happy as I was on that screen. If only all of this meant something, anything to me.

It's like the saying goes. Every rose has its thorns. Beauty has a price and I'm constantly being pricked by the thorns, being reminded that happiness and success ain't free. It's constantly painful even if it looks beautiful.