Learn To Be Real | KTH

Chapter 16

"No, Tae. No, I'm not like everyone else you've had around you. I'm not going to leave like everyone else. You're not alone anymore, Tae." Miyeon says quietly, a firmness in her voice that seemingly says she's serious about what she's saying.

Without even thinking, I lean down and place my lips on hers. It's completely spur of the moment, not really knowing how else to express my emotions caused by her honesty that causes my heart to swell by an incredible amount.

Though, just as I'm about to pull away as it sinks in what I've just done, I feel her mold her lips back against my own, kissing back. A wave of relief washes over me, killing the panic that had begun to sink in over my ridiculous action. I try to ignore it, focusing on just kissing her as I move my lips in time with her soft ones for a few seconds before pulling away again.

Looking down at the sweet dark brunette girl, her eyes are wide and lips parted lightly as she looks up at me. There's a mixture of surprise and shyness in her eyes as she looks away, laying her head back against my chest once more. It makes me wish I could tell her not to do that, not to lay her head against my chest once more because I know she'll be able to hear the pounding of my heart against its cage, direly wanting to break free.

"I-I'm -" Before I can even finish trying to apologize, Miyeon pulls her head away from me again and shakes her head.

"Don't apologize, Tae. I... I'm glad you did that." She says in such a quiet voice that I nearly miss it entirely. I feel my cheeks begin to burn red despite the cool morning air as I look away from her, growing shy once more. Though, the reality of my life sinks in again, quickly deflating the shy high that I'm currently feeling. It causes the small smile on my lips to disappear, quickly cooling the hotness of my cheeks back down to a normal temperature again as my mood falls entirely.

"You're just saying that." I mumble quietly, pulling away from her completely and standing up. As the pain begins to build up, I shake my head at myself, beginning to walk away from her.

"Tae, wait. Where are you going? What do you mean, 'I'm just saying that'?" Miyeon immediately begins to question, standing up and following after me.

"Just leave me alone. You don't really mean that. And even if you did, it's not like you'd feel that way for long anyhow." I mutter, shoving my hands into my pockets and keeping my head down as I continue trying to walk away from her.

I'm frustrated all over again, just because of this. Because of how dumb I was. I shouldn't have kissed her and I know that. I was an idiot for doing something so careless and ridiculous. She'll still end up leaving anyways. Everybody always does. They always say that they won't, but time goes by and all too soon you find yourself alone all over again. Back to where you started, back to square one.

"Tae, stop this! I'm not leaving you and I meant that. I really do like you and I love being around you. That's not something that's going to change. I meant what I said, Tae. I don't just say shit to make you happy. I say shit because I mean it." Miyeon snaps, stopping in her tracks to scold me. I bite my lip, stopping mid step myself as I stare painfully at the ground.

"Look, Miyeon. I'm tired of being played. I'm tired of being fooled and made fun of and being the laughing face of every goddamn place I'm at. Okay? I just want the truth. I need to know whether you're truthfully going to leave me or not. Whether you honestly want a relationship with me or not. I'm done going through and doing things blindly, knowing I'm just gonna get fucking hurt in the end. I want the fucking truth." I say softly, squeezing my eyes shut in attempt to hold the tears back. It scares me, the two questions I've just asked her. Terrifies me. I have a feeling I know her answer, and I don't know that I'll be able to handle it.

She stays silent for a moment, the sound of her footsteps being heard as she nears me. I'm surprised when she gently wraps her arms around my waist, despite being behind me as she leans her head against my back. As much as I don't want to, I naturally relax against her touch, feeling calmed and comforted by her gentleness.

"Tae, I would never lie to you. I don't plan on leaving you, ever. I wouldn't want to. I enjoy being around you more than you understand and truthfully, I'd love to be in a relationship with you and get to have you as my boyfriend."