Learn To Be Real | KTH

Chapter 19

Tae POV

Sitting on the bed in my current hotel room, I try to focus my blurred vision as I stare down at my phone screen, typing out a message to Miyeon. When I finally get the message sent, I toss my phone to the side and flop backwards onto my back.

Covering my face with my hands, I feel the sobs slowly begin to rack through my body, shaking it as they go.

It feels like absolute hell right now. After storming out of the interview early, I went home and packed up all my shit and came here asking for a hotel room with long term stay ability. I really am all alone now and it truly is the shittiest feeling in the world. Not having parents that I can count on to pick me up when I'm down. Not having any friends any longer, them being the reason I'm all alone now as it is. All I have left is Miyeon and I'm not even certain how long that's truly going to last. I know she said she'd always stay, but nothing lasts forever and everyone leaves eventually.

The sobbing soon subsides though, giving way to the heavy darkness and emptiness that always seems to follow. The feeling of wishing I could just leave this place growing, anger towards everything but the beautiful girl that I get the current privilege of calling my girlfriend. I swear she has to be the one thing that keeps me sane, the one thing keeping me here anymore.

I'm caught off guard by the sudden sound of a knock at my door. Huffing numbly, I pull myself up off the bed and walk over to the door. Looking through the peep hole, a ghost of a smile appears as I step back and open the door. With a worried look on her face, I'm suddenly tackled into a giant hug as she wraps her arms around my waist, causing me to stumble backwards lightly.

"Hey, baby." I murmur quietly, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck, trying to get myself out of the annoying fucking numbness that's engulfing me right now.

"Tae, I'm so sorry, baby. I wish I could've been there for you when it happened. I can't imagine how hard it had to have been on you, baby." She murmurs softly, rubbing my back gently.

Sighing quietly, I pull away from her and go back over to the bed, mixed emotions still racing through my head. She doesn't hesitate in following me inside the room, letting the door fall shut behind her as she joins me over on the bed, curling into my side as I wrap an arm around her waist and taking that hand in hers as she laces our fingers together.

"I'm proud of you, ya know." Miyeon says softly after a few minutes of torturous silence. I look down at her with a frown, not understanding how this could possibly be.

"Why would you be proud of me? I exploded on them and pretty much just lost everyone I had except for you. I don't see a whole hell of a lot to be proud of, babe." I mutter coldly, glaring down at the bed below us. She shakes her head though, leaning up and pecking my cheek. I give her the tiniest of smiles, sadly being all that I can manage at the moment.

"No, silly. I'm proud of you because you stopped letting them push you around. You finally stood up for yourself and let them know you were done with their shit. You let your emotions show through a little bit, even if they were mainly just angry and hurt. That's really good and it's a great starting point, even if that means that you had to lose them. Those assholes were nothing but toxic for you." She explains in a gentle tone, that beautiful smile of hers still placed perfectly on her lips. I sigh, shrugging limply.

"I guess. It doesn't really make me feel any better though. All I feel now is fucking empty and numb as hell. I wanna be better than that for you." I murmur, laying backwards onto my back. She turns herself around, laying down with me on her stomach as she rests her head on my chest.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tae. You don't have to be better or be someone else for me. I want you and that's exactly what I have, and I'm perfectly happy with that, baby." She whispers softly, leaning up a bit to press her lips to mine in a sweet and gentle chaste kiss.

"Besides, part of why you're still feeling so low is just because of the pain. That's something we can work with. Get the pain out and get some fun and happiness back in you."