Pins & Needles (Michael Jackson)

{1} Fear & Loneliness

Michael woke up that dreadful morning with the reoccurring, disheartening feeling that stuck with him in the pit of his stomach. He looked beside him just as he saw his reflection through the raindrop-filled window. The man that stared back at him has been unrecognizable for so long. It'd felt like a part of himself had been gone.

Without the motivation to do a single task, Michael heard a ring! from the telephone on his bedside table. "H-Hello," he said quietly, his voice still raspy from the previous night's rest.

"Michael, my dear!" Katherine greeted him warmly.

Recognizing who was on the phone with him caused Michael to portray a joyful act in that moment. "Mother!" he responded. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm well, just awaiting our gathering later on today," Katherine told him honestly.

Michael then remembered what he and his mother had planned earlier that week, and how it'd managed to escape his mind. Despite that, he still continued to agree with what she was saying. "Oh, of course, Mother! So have I," he half-lied, rubbing his rose in his usual nervous habit.

"How's two?" Katherine asked, a smile spreading across her lips at the thought of seeing her beloved son.

"Perfect," Michael agreed. The dark thought had crossed his mind as he remembered who his mother would potentially bring with her. "Wait, Mother," he started, a nervous giggle managing to escape him. "He's not gonna come with you, right?" he questioned, a grimace appearing before him.

Katherine's heart began aching at the thought that her own son couldn't say his father—her husband's name. The remembrance of Michael's past then clicked within her as she heard him sigh. "Of course not, dear," she answered, her words instantly making reassurance known in Michael. "I know that it's still too hard for you to face him, and I take that into full consideration."

"Thank you, Mother," Michael breathed, feeling as if more space was created in his chest.

Katherine then felt a twitch of sympathy in her heart. "Of course, my love. Of course."

A small smile appeared on Michael's lips. "I love you, Mother. See you at two."

***

A gentle knock was all that could be heard as Michael made his way to the door. Opening it, he saw none other than a big smile that was spread across his mother's lips.

"Mother!" Michael greeted warmly, taking her hand and leading her inside his apartment. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Oh, Michael, you have no idea how much I've missed you," Katherine responded honestly, pulling her son into a tight embrace.

Michael blushed as he held on tightly to his mother and her soft touch. "I missed you, too," he confessed.

Pulling away, Michael took his mother's coat and purse and set them on the nearby coffee table, as she made herself comfortable on the couch. He found himself sitting next to her, admiring what he saw as perfection.

"My love, how have you been?" Katherine questioned. "Is your therapist helping at all?"

"Oh, Celeste," Michael reminded her, a sparkle in his eye at the mention of her name. "She helps out a whole lot."

Katherine let out a heavy sigh. "Good, I'm glad." "Have you still been having those dreams about Jo—your father?"

Michael grimaced. "Yes," he admitted lowly. "But, Celeste is always ready to talk about those things, so I'm not having as many as I was before."

"That's a start in the right direction," Katherine said with a small smile.

Trying his best to keep his emotions intact, Michael stood up from where he'd been sitting. "Hopefully," he answered. "While I'm up, is there anything that you want to drink?"

"Iced tea or water is fine. Thank you, dear," Katherine told him, beaming at her son.

Katherine watched as Michael made his into the kitchen to prepare her beverage. She suddenly heard the ring! of her phone, and read the name "Joseph." Without hesitation, she answered. "Hello, dear!"

"Hey, Katie," Joesph replied through the phone in a more blunt tone than herself.

Katherine slightly grimaced at the way he responded. "How are things at home?" she inquired.

"Fine," Joseph answered quickly. "Just the same bickering from Randy and Janet, and if they don't stop soon, they're gon' get—"

"Joesph, don't!" Katherine cut him off, in a rather loud manner. "They're just kids! Don't do to them what you've done to Michael."

Just then, Michael exited the kitchen with an earful of what had just been said. Joseph's name continued ringing in his head as he walked over to his mother. The crippling memories of what was done to him—along with the possibilities of what could happen to his siblings—caused the glass to make its way from Michael's grasp and to the floor.

Within a matter of seconds, Michael was kneeled down at his weakest state, heavily breathing, which caused Katherine to take full-force in her son's needs.

"Michael, what happened?" Katherine inquired quickly, kneeling down, and patting his face to get his attention. "Come on, dear. Talk to me."

Blinking a few times, Michael looked at the blurring image of his mother. "I—I can't do this, Mother," he told her, his voice breaking into sobs. "Overhearing the possible things that could be done to Randy and Janet. They can't go through what I did! They just can't!"

The visibly broken sight of her son shattered Katherine's heart in more ways than she thought describable. "Oh, Michael..." she trailed off. "It's not going to happen to them," she assured him. "I promise. I won't allow it."

"...it happened to me," Michael spoke lowly.

Remorse instantly filled Katherine's soft, brown eyes. "I know, and I wish that I could take that back. Really, I do."

"Of course, Mother," Michael said softly. "I know that it wasn't your—"

"No," Katherine cut him off. "I could've stopped it. I should've stopped it. I don't think that I'll ever be able to forgive myself for how this affected you in the long-run."

Michael's heart instantly softened as he began feeling guilt. "I know, but I'm receiving help. I'll be okay," he told her, not even believing his own words.

"That's all I'll ever want, is for you to be okay," Katherine stated honestly.

"And I will be," Michael assured her, hoping that one day he'd be able to come to that conclusion.

Michael was helped back onto the couch by his Mother, as she held him close. He could only hope that in the future, his own words would become believable to himself.

However, with everything going on within him, that wouldn't be anytime soon...

***

WHEW! This first chapter was loooong awaited, I know. I've been inspired with other works, but I hope that it was worth the wait! I hope you all enjoyed! I love each of you so much, and thank you for reading.