Notes

066: close

Irene felt warm. Cuddled into her boyfriend, she smiled, wiggling a little to get closer, if that was even possible. She heard a breathy laugh. "Ire, you're really cute," Yoongi grinned.

"You're cuter." She giggled, rolling around to face him. She moved forward and pecked his lips before wrapping her arms around him.

Happiness radiated from the couple. This is all they'd ever wanted. Peace and contentment without fearing the future.

However, they both felt it; a stagnant feeling that stuck like cling wrap. It was a topic they'd been avoiding ever since they'd made it back, but the two knew it needed to be addressed. The sooner, the better.

"Yoongi?"

"Yeah?"

"I-I know this is random, but I don't think I've ever told you." she sighed, scooting back. His eyes seemed calculating, trying to read deeper into her words. Something seemed to click as he slowly nodded, his eyes focusing on her face yet again.

"My parents were really young when they had me. My mom was seventeen and my dad was nineteen, fresh out of high school and too free spirited to be tied down with a child. Yet... they sacrificed their newly found freedom to care for me. They provided me with things they couldn't afford and soon, we were in debt. I guess I was too young to notice at first, but as I got older, I realized they were coming home later and later, tired and drained. They looked pale, guilt ridden, and regretful, but they still let smiles grow on their faces, just for me; just so I wouldn't know about the demons that haunted them."

Yoongi's sorrow filled eyes continued to train themselves on the sad girl beside him.

"Don't— don't pity me. I know it sounds bad, but really, I'm okay now. But, yeah.. they were earning enough to live, enough to feed me. But the money would never wash away the crimes and the scarring acts they'd committed to provide for me. But things got worse. The more involved they got with the gang, the more distant they became. As I got older, I convinced myself I hated them for leaving me alone. Back then, I guess I didn't realize how much they'd done. Sometimes, I still feel like I do, but I know that in the end, they were trying to do what was best for me, and I can't ever blame them for good intentions. It just didn't turn out the way they'd predicted and it ended up hurting me anyway."

"That's... hard. Really hard." Yoongi simpered.

"It was. But I've got good people surrounding me now. I've never been happier." A radiant smile tugged her lips upwards.

"Can I ask something else?"

"Of course."

"What happened to him?"

"Hoseok?" She asked, smiling softly.

"Yeah, Hoseok." He nodded lightly, a curious gleam in his eyes.

"He was my first love. My first kiss. My first everything. I met him through the association, but he'd managed to weasel his way out of it. He was really cunning and sneaky; ingenious sometimes," She laughed softly, "At first, I actually hated him. He seemed so cocky and sure of himself, so much so it drove me mad sometimes. But one night, I was on a mission, and I got found out before I could complete it. I ran into him and he gave me a place to stay. After that, we grew a lot closer. There were late night talks and midnight runs to the store. We had movie nights and 'hang outs', things we were too shy about to call dates. Then one day we got caught in the rain, and like out of some kind of romance movie, we kissed."

Yoongi's eyes were clouded with the tiniest hint of jealousy and insecurity, something Irene didn't see.

"After that I knew I'd really fallen in love. I felt free knowing I was with the guy I loved, not having done missions for months. I really thought they'd just let me go like that. I couldn't have been any more wrong," a deep sadness ran through her as the memories replayed in her head. This was the first time she'd ever told someone.

"They came for me in the middle of the night and left a note for Hoseok. They told him if he didn't come to headquarters they'd blow my brains out, and they almost did. But Hoseok came in last minute and took the bullet for me. I had to sit there and watch him die," she whispered, "I was tied up, and no matter how much I screamed for them to let me go, they just stood there, laughing."

"And then they did the cruelest thing. They let me live. They told me to walk out and forget about it. To forget him. The only reason I ran is because if I didn't, he died in vain. So I did what I had to and left. I moved to Seoul, cut relations with anyone I knew in Busan and hid. I was devastated. I blamed myself for what happened and hated myself. I didn't believe that I could love again.

But then you came along."