A crazy suggestion

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Cody pulled me aside and made a suggestion, which I thought was preposterous.

"You have got to be kidding me," I answered as I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"It's perfect. Think about it. We fake dated, and Marta gets jealous, then boom, she goes out with me," he suggested.

"Well, that would be fine and all, but Marta is a lesbian," I told him.

"What?" He looked at me, shocked.

"Lesbian as in like chicks, not dicks," I smirked as it took him aback. He backed up and sat down as I stood there. "What is with everyone wanting to fake date me? Am I so horrible that people won't date me for real?"

He looked at me, "I would, but I'm just not into you like that. You're not my type," he shrugged as I realized, I just pretty much was told I wasn't good enough. I turned and walked away from Cody. That confirmed it.

I went to class and took a seat next to Brandon.

"Hey Brandon," I greeted him as he didn't acknowledge me. "You too, Brandon. Anyone home?"

"Why don't you go chase after your boy toy?" He said without looking at me.

"What's wrong with you? Are you having a man period?" I commented.

His head snapped into my direction, "no, I just don't feel like being your go-to guy when your crushes crush you," he snapped at me, shocking me.

I sat there, stunned.

"Andi," he started to say.

"No, you're right. Don't talk to me," I said as I got up from my seat and moved away from Brandon. Right there, was why I would be single the rest of my life. Brandon confirmed it. No guy liked me like that. It was okay to be a friend, but as for dating, I didn't there type.

The rest of the class, I wouldn't look at Brandon even though he tried to get my attention. Why bother? He just reminded me that I would never find love.

At lunch, I sat at the table and picked at my food. Brandon tried to talk to me, but I ignored him. The others watched me as I just sat there. The truth was, the reason I was no guy's type was I picked the wrong guy, and I wasn't pretty enough like Marta. She was stunning, and well, I wasn't. I could see why people would be attracted to her.

The thought killed my appetite, and I pushed my food away as I got up.

"What was that about," Marta asked Brandon.

"I snapped at Andi," he confessed.

"Spill. Now," Marta ordered Brandon as he told her what happened. It didn't matter.

After school, I went home and went straight to my room. I locked my door and stayed in my room. My parents tried to get me to come out for dinner, but I refused. I just wanted to wallow.

Brandon was right, and so was Cody. I had to come to terms that no one would love me. The only thing that would ever happen was my crushes would crush me.

While I stayed locked up in my room, Papa came over.

"What happened?" He asked my parents.

"We don't know. Andi came home and locked herself away. The last time she did this was when she developed a crush on that dumbass in middle school. He told her she was ugly and sent her into a tailspin," dad reminded him.

Papa looked at him.

"Cody told her he wasn't into her and wanted to make Marta jealous, then Brandon told her he wasn't going to be her go-to person when her crushes crush her," Coop mentioned to them.

"Perfect, dumb and dumber pretty much gave her a reason to fall back into her old habits," Papa grumbled.

They decided to break into my room and caught me as I was in the middle of a binge. I ran as my family tried to find me until I hit the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it. I proceeded to heave as they tried to get the door opened.

"Andrea! Sweetheart! Please don't do this," Papa pleaded with me. It was too late. I reverted to my old ways as I binged and purged. I needed to get rid of my fat. I needed to be pretty. I needed to be thin. That's why no one like me.

They finally got the door opened as I flushed the toilet and sat down on the floor while I cried. My dad walked over and sat down in front of me. He furrowed his brows at me, "I'm so sorry, dad," I sniffled.

He reached over and pulled me to him as I cried.

"Andi, I thought we had this under control?" He asked me.

I didn't say anything. I just buried my head into him. I felt so ashamed. I had done so well until today. All that time in therapy and getting help and all it took was two people to set me back. I was weak.

"I know you don't want to do this, but you're going to need to see your therapist again," he mentioned to me as he held me.

"No, Dad, I promise I won't do it again," I begged him.

"Andi, we can't take that chance. The last time your weight became dangerously low. You can seriously die from this. We don't want to lose you," he said as his voice broke.

Papa crouched down in front of me, "sweetheart, we promise to be there along the way, but you need help. Please do this," he begged me.

I looked at them. I didn't have the strength to fight my family. I was tired of fighting. All I wanted was to be pretty, and I wasn't. All I wanted was one guy to see me, and I was told not to bother. Right now I felt lower than pond scum.

That was fine; it's better to know this now than get my hopes up, only to get them dashed. At that moment, I gave up on love. I couldn't even love myself; how was I supposed to love someone else?

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