The Downfall Of Grace Griffin

37.

Grace's POV

The sand under my feet helped me relax as I squeezed my toes, playing in the cool and moist sand.

I sat back against a large rock, the water metres away on low tide as I stared ahead.

I've been sitting here for the past three days now. I've been sitting here just thinking, contemplating my predicament. The hotel I booked into was nice and held a pool, but sitting here, shaded by my large sun hat was better.

I was away from everyone. Left to my own little world.

No one knows I'm here. Now I understand how people lose friends. I've been a slack friend to Macy and Dean.

And a horrible girlfriend. I know I'm being selfish. I know I've asked for a hell of a lot from Roman. My dad warned me about him asking for an inch and taking a mile, but it was I that has been doing exactly that to Roman.

I pleaded with him to give me a week, and he did. He gave me eight days actually and today is day nine.

I just haven't brought myself to return. Not yet. I'm not ready yet. I've been a coward, I can't even ring or message him, I'm too scared to.

The rock I was against belonged with the water as it held little shells attached to it. There was a nice size rock pool next to it, tiny reef fish swimming in it and I even saw a little crab shuffle across in front of me.

My white cheesecloth shirt was slightly too big, falling down a shoulder and exposing my skin to the sun.

I popped open the sunscreen and rubbed some more in to me. I didn't want to get burnt. I burn fairly easy.

I sighed as I tilted my head back, closing my eyes as I adjusted my sunglasses and hat. My knees were bent up slightly, the shirt exposing the bottom half of my thighs down to my toes.

I've thought long and hard about last week, about my founding. Roman was right when he was drunk, rambling. Drunk people tend to tell the truth. If I keep the baby, I will grow to resent Roman, even the child. If I give the child up to Roman, he would still fight for me, well, I think he will.

If I adopt the child out or terminate the pregnancy, I will lose Roman because I love him so much and he will hate me. Then I would probably grow resentful of myself.

I never thought I would fall in love with Roman the minute I met him. I did admit to myself that he was handsome, but that I also hated him for what he did to my family. Then that hate grew at first for our marriage.

But after our divorce, I started to see another side of Roman. A caring side. A side that I refused to admit that I fell in love with.

I pursed my lips together. I should call him. I have to. I turned my head to my little bag and pulled out my phone. I've been ignoring it all lately. I should ring him, I reminded myself.

But instead, I opened the message app and tapped on Romans name. We were on holidays and here I was, sitting isolated at a beach and he was probably stressing about me at home.

I tried to compose a message, but I didn't know what to say.

Hey
I'm staying at The Ocean Blue
Just trying to clear my head still

I miss you

But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to send it. I stared at the screen before dropping my phone on to my tote bag and sunk my head on to my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs.

I unknowingly was playing with the topaz ring Roman bought me weeks ago, my thoughts a mumbled mess.

When we were married, I did have a wedding ring, but I took it off the first chance I had. When I was at the small house we lived in, collecting my stuff before Roman dropped me off at home, I had moved it from my hiding spot to where he keeps his cufflinks. But he never said anything to me about it. Then four weeks ago, I saw it again. Roman had it and his wedding band on his house keys. I wanted to question him about it, but I felt it wasn't important, then I forgot about it till now.