Is this Love?

Part 4

Hello all, i put in alot of effort on this one!

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Chapter 4: 

I could not believe what I had just heard. Her words replayed over and over again, ringing in my fragile ears. I was at the peak of my mental endurance. I have always read books where the main character would hear terrible news about their kin and run without a care for the world to spend their last day, hour, minute with them. So that the angels would come and their kin would gladly follow them up there, where they’ll spend eternity.

I didn’t know this would be happening to me. My reflexes acted on their own accord. My books fell to the ground, closely followed by a resounding thud. Though I knew everybody’s curious and furious eyes were on me, I too, did not notice them, even if I did, I brushed them away.

As the wind howled past me, I picked up my pace. This cannot be happening. I thought, still convincing myself that I’m currently having a nightmare and that when I wake up I’ll definitely find her next to my bed cleaning herself again. Throwing me those pitiful looks and staring at me with her sparkly lively eyes. Those eyes never once failed to cheer me up. When I wake up I’ll hug her tight, and when I wake up I’ll tell her I love her, I love her, I love her!

My thoughts slowly built up. All I could think about was her. Please, live for me. I bit my lip and shut my eyes. I could feel tears still falling down my dry-shut eyes. I don’t know where to go... I will run wherever my legs take me. Maybe if I stop and open my eyes I’ll see Patchy, I’ll be with Patchy again, for eternity and beyond.

All those running made my head thump heavily. It felt like I was having an unstoppable migraine that no amount of petty medicine could cure. No amount of doctors could cure my broken heart. Who am I to live for now? Now that you left earlier than me?

“Patchy was… involved in a freak accident… I’m... I’m really sorry, I took her out today…” My mom’s soft and apologetic words repeatedly buzzed in my mind.

I opened my eyes slowly; I could sense the dizziness in my head. For a second it was all blurry, then, it all became crystal clear again. I felt light, I felt like jumping down and drifting slowly like a feather. I felt like joining Patchy, she would be lonely up there. A couple of buildings faced me, it felt like they too were going to topple down, as though they admit they are now so much below me. I could witness the black birds sitting on the roof of another building opposite me, playing and chirping blissfully in the presence of each other’s warmth. Then, I walked straight steadily towards the edge. Taking a huge and long breath, I looked down. The number of cars was still uncountable, but they seemed ten times, maybe a hundred times smaller in size.

This is it, I thought.

It’s finally here. The reason to die, and everyone would be happier anyway. The image of Brandon flashed on my mind. My face voluntarily cringed, my desire to jump slowly boiled up. I spread my arms, imitating angel wings. I never thought this would be how I would die. I was scared. Fear gipped me, beads of cold sweat formed readily on my neck. It was time. Patchy needs someone to accompany her. Poor Patchy, she must have suffered a lot, getting hit by that big bulky mechanical foreign object, my eyes started tearing up again.

I leaned slightly forward. Maybe if I close my eyes the pain would decrease. I did exactly so, and just as I stepped one foot on the raised platform, a low but gentle voice halted my action.

“Don’t!” the voice sounded anxious, yet slow and understanding.

I didn’t want to turn back. I was too tired, please just let me die, we all have to die one day anyway, so why not now? I don’t want to live.