narrative | changlix

XXVII.

a few hours later, after talking it out changbin left. he was asking me a milion times, if i really dont want him to stay but i said i didnt and that im okay every time. ah hes so sweet..

,,yah felix!! are you listening???" changbin raised his voice.

,,hey! sorry!" i jumped and sighed afterwards.

,,i just kinda zoned out..."

,,..again.." I whispered.

,,dont you want to see a doctor or something? arent you sick? should i stay and make you tea or soup-"

,,no changbin, everything is okay, thank you.." i giggled and changbin stepped out the door with a sigh.

,,fine...just....let me know if something is up" he said as he pulled me in a hug

,,....please.." he whispered in my ear. his words sent shivers down my back. suddenly, i felt this wierd feeling somewhere very deep inside me. I pulled away.

,,fine, okay. just.. just go." i said.

,,take care." i said in a low tone, closing the door right behind me earlier than he could say something.

i sighed, sliding down the door on the floor. whats wrong with me? im so, so emotional. he has a crush right? i rolled up in a small ball, put my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees. i cant love him if he already loves someone else. why does it hurt so much? why does stuff he does make me feel so strange? i sat back, leaning my back on the door, straightening my right leg and looking up with my eyes full of tears.

what is this strange feeling i get every time? its so...its so wierd. so...unknown. i sighed again. god dammit!!

two weeks later.

my phone buzzed. Changbin. ah..changbin texted me... i thought, sitting quietly on my bed. i opened the conversation.

Changbun 🐠💞
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67 unread messages
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changbun: felix?????

you: what

changbun: OH MY GOD FELIX

changbun: YOURE ALIVE

changbun: THANK GOD

changbun: i was so scared !!!!!!!

you: soery

changbun: where are you?????

changbin: ive been at your place like ten times already!

seen

changbun: FELIX

you: sorry

changbun: i-

changbun: im going to your place immediately felix

you: dont go

you: please

sent

i heard hard knocks on my door not a long after. as if he was here the whole time.

,,FELIX I KNOW YOURE THERE!!!" he kept on knocking.

his voice. it was so sweet no matter how mad he was. it was like a drug.

,,please..go away.." i said as a heavy flow of tears started rolling down my cheeks. i knew hes not able to hear me this or that way so i just kept on crying quietly. i got in a very bad stat of feelings. every emotion was so hard to controle and i was very sick at this point. it hurt so much everytime he knocked on the door. it hurt so horribly much every time a single letter left his mouth. every time his wonderful red lips parted from each other to make a sound. I knew he looks so wonderful today. he always looks wonderful. every little detail about him is so, so stunning. from the way his hair sparkles in the light to the way he waves his feet when he's listening to music, without even knowing he does it. everything is so...so...

after few minutes..or more..who knows, he stopped knocking.

,,Felix.." I heard a few muted words and then nothing but solid silence. I layed down. I was sure he left, just as everybody does..everyone leaves one day. I closed my eyes and fell asleep really fast.