Above the waves

16

~Nate~

"Why did you do that?" Tasha asks, sighing. "I thought you guys were okay and that you were willing to take steps to make things better. You said you wouldn't hurt her."

"She's not hurt." I retaliate.

We're in the living room and after talking with the two James siblings, Tasha found out that I walked out on Savannah. Sort of.

She shakes her head. "Whatever you tell yourself."

She gets up and heads upstairs. "Night."

I look after her, realizing that I disappointed my sister once again. She is one of those people you just don't want to let down.

"Goodnight." I whisper.

She walks up and I hear her bedroom door close.

I sigh. What's wrong with me? Why am I such a coward? We just started being friends again and I just had to ruin it because I'm afraid of my girlfriend and her friends. What a man I am.

I look up as Mom comes in.

"Shouldn't you go to bed? We already did our family prayers." She says, sitting beside me.

"Yeah. I will. Just thinking."

She smiles softly. "About what?"

"About what a coward I am." I say sadly.

She puts an arm around me and pulls me close like she did when I was younger.

"Nate. You're a growing man. A child of God. You need to learn to stand up for what you believe in and pursue what you want. With God's help of course." She pauses. "And don't push away people you care about just because you're afraid of the temporary people who try to control your life."

"Why do you all have such good advice that's hard to follow?" I mumble.

Mom laughs. "Maybe that's why they're advice. Thoughts you didn't think about and options you should choose. Because the ones you've given yourself are too easy and narrow for the bigger pictures others see."

I smile and kiss her on the cheek. "Thanks mom."

She kisses the top of my head as she gets up. "Go to bed now. Goodnight, Nate. I love you."

"Love you too mom." I say as I head upstairs.

Why do I feel like such a drag in my family?

***
I finish school early for the rest of the week and head straight home for more afternoon swims. I make sure my timing is right to avoid anyone else on the beach.

As I wade into the water, an idea hits me. I think I know how to make it up to Savannah and to my family.

I swim for another hour then head back home. Tomorrow's the bonfire so maybe I could treat Savannah out tonight and actually talk to her. Being Savannah, she might actually have good advice for me too knowing how positive and confident she was when talking to Josh.

I wash up then knock at Tasha's door. No answer.

"Tasha?"

"She went with the girls to Malibu Wildlife." Mom says from their door. She smiles at me. "They've been visiting Hope a lot."

Oh, right. The dolphin Gail and Savannah saw and helped rescue.

"I need help." I contemplate saying.

Mom waits for me to make up my mind and continue.

"I was thinking of surprising Savannah today. To make it up to her. She's so forgiving, kind and understanding, willing to look past my mistakes and yet I'm afraid to talk to her. As if she's the one who did something to me."