it's been 6 days into 2019 and this is really long overdue, but here we go!
2018 wasn't a good year. there were a lot of rough bumps along the way throughout the entire year. i had arguments with my close friends. i wasn't doing as well as my peers around me. i was constantly doubting myself despite the numerous encouragements given by my friends. there were days i felt like giving up and calling it quits. i was angry at myself more than half the time and hated myself, and always tried means and ways to somehow improve myself tremendously, which never really did work. i was aiming to achieve things within a short period of time and was exhausted both physically and mentally.
there were also good things that happened to me, that opened up doors and platforms to me to discover and find myself. i've learned to open my eyes wider to survey my surroundings at a bigger angle, to change myself for the better, and that i was capable of doing things i didn't know i could do. i've also learned that things are to be done a step at a time.
and so now i'll thank the people who've made my 2018 better, for shining light for me in dark times.
my friends: to the many many of you guys, thank you for giving me words of encouragement, and helping me brave through 2018. it wasn't a pretty year, but y'all gave me the will to press on, to not give up. thank you for being my pillars of support through the harsh times. thank you for all the laughs and love y'all have gifted me, for hearing me out when i felt angry and sad. thank you for all the criticisms y'all had on me so that i could improve myself. thank you for sticking by my side, for bringing a smile to my face, for making me laugh till my sides hurt. i apologise if i wasn't exactly there for every one of you, but do know that i love each and every single one of you.
bts: the seven of you will probably never ever read this, but thank you for teaching me to love myself. i was constantly pressured by thinking of what others thought of me and i always wanted to please others. i thought maybe if people didn't like what i did or said, i needed to change myself. however, after your comeback in august, i learned that no, nobody's view on ourselves is more important than our own. we must first love ourselves and not find solace in others' perception of us. thank you for helping me find myself and that no matter what, i should put myself first.
got7: even though i discovered the seven of you late, thank you for ending my 2018 with a bang. thank you for making me laugh no matter how bad the day was, for making me break out into a smile. thank you for being my happy pills, the sunshines of my life.
the hard times: thank you for filling my 2018 with challenges worth crying and hating over, because they've taught me life lessons that i'll never forget. thank you for making me finally understand life as a whole and for allowing me to find people and things that made me happy. thank you, next—
thank you, 2018, and cheers to 2019! 🥂
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