Coming To Terms: A Sirius Oswald X MC Romance (Ikemen Revolution)

Part 5: What Am I Doing?

(Sirius P.O.V)

What am I doing?

My breath caught in my throat as I suddenly tuned into what I was doing. I was within millimetres of kissing her.

My moral instincts kicked in and I pulled back with a heavy sigh. This wasn't right. Attempting to take advantage of Kelly after her concussion, and as she cried. I was already pressuring her enough with my questions. And now I was realising I was losing my own composure in the moment.

I steeled my nerves and pulled away, standing and taking a deep breath.

"Siri--" I heard her call my name but I immediately inturrupted her. This could not go any farther.

"You need more rest. Now that you've eaten, head back to your room."

I spoke brazenly as I headed towards the sink.

" I'll see to it that Seth comes to check on you tonight. I have to be heading back to the war room."

I took off my apron and hung it by the hook on the sink. I had to get out of this kitchen. The last thing I wanted was to lose my cool infront of her again. I strode towards the door.

"Sirius, I-"

She called out my name again but I was already at the door. I stopped and glanced over my shoulder in her direction.

"Get some rest, Alice."

I gave her my stern parting words before walking from the kitchen.

Once the door closed behind me, I strode down the hallway and turned the corner. As soon as I was alone, I stopped.

"What the hell was that Sirius.."

I muttered to myself in anger, turning to knock my fist against the wall as I gritted my teeth.
I had never lost my composure before. It was true I was worried about her, but something had come over me and I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. I leaned my forehead against the wall beside my fist and sighed in frustration through clenched teeth. My fist could feel heat radiating from my cheeks and I was suddenly shocked out of my anger.

I stood up straight and felt my cheek.
I'm..blushing...?

"UGH!" I called loudly in embarrasment as I brushed my hands through my hair.

I never lose my cool. I have to regain composure here. I took two deep breaths, straightened my uniform coat, brushed it off, then rolled my shoulders. I needed some air.

I worked up my calm, cool composure and strode down the hallway towards the gates. I threw them open and walked out into the brisk night air.

"What is wrong with me.."

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(Kelly P.O.V)

I watched him walk out.
I felt a whirlwind of emotions, confusion, excitement, the secret need to run after him. If I looked at this situation objectively, there was a strong possibility Sirius felt even slightly the same way I did about him. He was just within inches of kissing me after all. But if I had to guess, he was probably embarrased, which is why he ran out so fast.

I decided to leave the worry for another day and sauntered off to my room to sleep. But as I walked down the hallway, I couldn't help glancing around into the rooms with open doors, looking for that certain brown haired man I adored. I was worried about him and also anxious now that he had walked off.
As I passed by a window I saw him striding quickly through the courtyard towards the fields beyond our castle. My heart jumped and without thinking I ran out of my room and out the nearest door, thinking i could catch him if I ran fast enough.
But as I got outside, he was already gone.

My heart fell like a stone.

"What am I doing?.."