BAE BOY

3-11

Which began sooner than I'd hoped. Because he started barking at the pilot louder and louder and getting wilder and wilder until the veins in his neck and forehead looked like they were about to pop.

Just kept screaming stuff like, "You think I don't know what you're doin'? Tryin'a buy some time 'til the cavalry comes--do what I say, mother fucker! Get this thing outta here or I'll blow your fuckin' head off!"

The sheer volume along with the desperation in that voice told the pilot to just give in and ease that thing up off the ground before the fool turned us all into hamburger meat.

And then when we were up Justice turned to me and started rambling all over the place.

Going, "I see what you're doing. I see what--I'm down with what you're doing. Gathering of tribes! Gathering of warriors! The original people, they know the deal. They fought the good fight--we could learn a lot from them! I see where you're going with this, man! That's a strategy I never considered, you know? I mean--"

I just fell back against the seat cushion and said, "Justice, man, what the fuck?"

And he gave me this earnest gaze and said, "The original people. The only other worthy warriors on the continent, right? That's brilliant! I'm really impressed!"

My blank stare sent him into full conspiratorial mode.

"Look, they're the sole survivors of that first mass genocide! They're still here! They know! They've been where we could be goin', man, but they're still up! They're takin' it back, some of 'em, even. Most Mexicans are Indians, right? And then you got all the tribes here'n' whatnot--"

He shifted a little bit, but not enough to make it easy for me to get at him, though. He was just so excited by this literal brainstorm he was having. All the pretzel logic twisting storylines around in his head, you know?

I mean, he goes, "You combine forces with that? Indio, right, is his name? The big dude in charge? I mean, you talk about power? Sheeeiiiit, we could wreak some havoc for sure! Them and us, together?"

I almost understood. Scary as that was.

But then he switched over to, "I told that bastard--Joe. I told all those bastards not to fuck with us. I told them!"

"Dude--"

"Didn't go off," he said, sort of to himself. "I don't know...he was there, right? He was there..."

"Who was there?"

He stared at me like he didn't speak English for a minute and said, "I got up there, right next to him, and he signals them to throw me down off there. Off the stage, right? All them other guys, all them other pussy politicians, they're up there! And their little yes men. Little ass lickers--sold me out! Tossed me aside like a piece o' garbage right in fronta my people, man! I got the message! We got the message! We sent him one, too! Or...I don't know...it just...it didn't do like it was supposed to..."

He was roller coastering from bravado to befuddlement, peaks and valleys, one after the other.

Until I just said, "What the hell are you even talking about?"

"Timers," he muttered again. "I didn't work that right, I guess. The schematics...I don't read those things too good, still. I mean, they didn't print real clear--old drawings. Best ones, but they're from 'way back, you know? Way back--genuine Army, but kinda outdated."