BAE BOY

12

She sent me a text, Kendall, late that night when I was staring at this TV show about a bunch of really sad women competing to get engaged to this really sad guy.

It was brutal, that show. Made my heart hurt for all involved. That they would do such a thing to themselves.

Kendall's text was dope, though. First, she hit me with this video of a crazy flapper chick doing that Charleston dance they used to rock so hard back in the day. She looked like she was hopped up on some illegal substance or other. Legs and arms flying every which way.

And then the text part said:

"How it feels when they say all the cancer cells are gone."

I mean, hells yeah, you'd dance like a crack fiend if your doctor told you that. I got all excited and I didn't have cancer. I was just happy for her. And really grateful after that other sad shit I'd been watching. Gave me some hope back.

So, I wrote right back. And I'll use real English, not "text speak" for this conversation so it doesn't look like hieroglyphics or something. It went like this (and forgive the few abbreviations and stuff that slip in despite what I said):

Me: "Happy as hell for you! What happens now?"

Her: "I have to wait 'til morning when the people who are studying me have seen all the results," and then, "wyd?"

Okay, I had to write it like she wrote it that time. Means, "What you doin'?"

Me: "Watching the world end."

Her: (Sorry about this) "????????!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "The Bachelor. This shit's scary."

She sent a whole bunch of Emojis then. Some of those poop ones among them, which was definitely on point.

And then it was back to me: "Want some company?"

Her: "I was hoping you'd ask," followed by, "Someone you remind me of."

And then she sent me this really beautiful black and white photo of her and some young guy who I assumed was a brother or something. She was a little bitty thing at the time. And cute as that button everybody always compares cute things to. Why, I do not know.

And she wrote: "Died three years ago."

So I said, "Ouch. So sorry. Brother?"

Her: "Yes. He would like you."

Me: "Did he have cancer, too?"

Me: "OD'd. Damn him."

Okay, that made my heart hurt again. Worse.

So I wrote: "Even sorrier now. I will be there in a minute."

Her: "He would have said that, too. Both things."

Me: "With no ulterior motives of course."

Her: "Oh?"

I sent her, "Those lips, though," and then a "kissy lips" .gif. Some girl had sent it to me once, so I figured I'd make good use of it.

And she hit me with that stupid eggplant that means--you know what it means. Cracked me up.

I kept up the texting on my way over to her special "wing" where they did all this cancer and other research. You have to go through a glass breezeway to get to it, so I was scared that somebody would see me and tell security or something, because visiting hours were over.