I Should've Kissed You.

Chapter 18

Delilah's point of view:

I could see him out my window. He sat at the dock for a little while longer. Then he stood up, he walked over the only plant that had a live flower left on it. He picked the flower and rested it on the beat up wood, I watched his mouth as he said the simple word,"Goodbye."

My heart was shattering as he said each syllable.  He was saying goodbye. It's dounding ridiculous that I was breaking because he said goodbye to a breaking dock. But it had so much more meaning. It symbolized our chidhood. Him saying goodbye was like him saying goodbye to me for good, him saying goodbye to every single memory we ever shared there.

He walked away and I watched his footsteps. He stopped in his tracks and gave the dock one last look, the way I did earlier. I sunk into my sheet and I curled up into a ball and began to cry. My Mum was already asleep.

I put in some more home videos and I sat in bed crying. Usually the tears would stop after a while, but these just kept coming, they wouldn't stop. They continued to pour from my eyes. The video showed Harry and I in my room, my Mum had been secretly taping us, I was dressed up as a princess and Harry was dressed up as a prince. We were dancing around acting like we were at a ball. 

My mind kept thinking of the innocence I once had when I was a kid. When things seemed absolutely perfect, because I had Harry.

Harry was my rock.

But He was gone, he declared his goodbye. Maybe someday I'll forget the hurt, the reason why I spent this whole night crying and the pain that Harry has caused me. 

Every day after Harry left I tried to convince myself that we are better of without eachother, then I find myself waking up the next morning  even more in love with you than I was the day before. I tried so hard to forget. I said It was time for me to move out of my Mum's house, but in reality it was because I couldn't face seeing the dock every day and be constantly reminded that you left me again.

There's a part of me that wishes I had never met you, then maybe I wouldn't be left for me to cry myself to sleep. I wouldn't be in such pain, I wouldn't be haunted constantly by the forgotten promises. But the other part knows that I could never live without you.

I got up and walked out the back door, I placed myself on the edge of the dock. My thoughts kept leading me back to Harry, when all I wanted to do was forget him.

I could feel him coming closer to the dock, there was something that when I was here something pulled him here.

"You don't have to walk away, I was just about to go inside anyways." I said knowing he thought I couldn't tell he was once walking towards the dock.

He let out a small sigh,"It's fine. I can go back in."

"You said goodbye.",I said shaking my head.

"Hm?"

"I watched you say goodbye to the dock," I said bluntly.

"Oh, yeah." 

I sniffled,"You were ready to say goodbye?"

"I thought I was, but hence the fact I'm here again means I couldn't go through with it." He said with pain filling his voice.

I nodded,"We can't always come back to here. Maybe you were right about saying goodbye to the dock and the memories."

He was quiet, he didn't say anything. Nor did he move. Maybe he agreed. I stood up, and I started to walk back into my house. Once again He didn't stop me.