The Lies That Bind

Chapter 31: Let it Bleed

Rey looks over at us and immediately shifts his attention. "Where were you?!" He yells, though I think that question is more geared at Erika than me.

Erika shrugs, "Traffic, you know how it is boss-man."

He stares blankly at her before removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Girl, you're gonna be the death of me. Alright, Erika go get warmed up, and Edith," he puts his glasses back on. "We'll get to you before we open for lunch. I want you to stay here until our nightly hours so you can see how that works from the inside."

I nod with a small, "Sure." Didn't really want to be here all day, but it's not like I have any other plans. "Anything you want me to do until you need me?"

"Pray to God I don't hang myself before the day's over."

I roll my eyes before heading towards the bar for some tea. There seems to be a little breakfast buffet set up. Misty is already there, looking over some paperwork.

"Hey again, Edith," she greets me, "Welcome to the team!"

"Thank you." I sit down next to her and pour myself some hot water.

"Pardon the mess," she continues with that southern drawl, "we got a big gig comin' up and Rey's close to bursting from the stress. This is kind of a make-or-break for us."

I nod as I drop my tea bag into the hot water and nab a croissant, "Yeah, Erika told me. Are you nervous?"

"Hell yeah I'm nervous! Ain't never sung in front of several thousand people before, and I'm first to go!"

"Hey pipe down over there!" Erika scolds teasingly, "We're trying to rehearse!"

Misty offers her a disinterested look from behind her coffee mug, but doesn't respond verbally.

I'll admit, Erika knows how to command the stage. The mix of your classical big band jazz and the modernized electro-swing is really something to behold. The music blends so well with Erika's energetic vocals and presence that I can't help but clap along to some of the songs. At around 10, everyone breaks and gets ready to switch over to me.

Rey calls me over to go over the sheet music. "Do you know any of these songs?" He asks.

I flip through them, there's a few I recognize. "Yes, quite a few actually."

"Great, let's warm up and start in 20." Rey makes his way back to the piano and runs me through the scale a couple of times.

"You think four times is enough?" I ask.

"Probably. Alright Lady Edith, let's see what you got."

After fingering through the music a second time, I go with "You Don't Know What Love is". I can't help but chuckle quietly to myself, oh the irony! It's a slow paced song usually just accompanied by piano, at least the versions of it I've heard.

As Rey begins to play, my mind conjures memories of the past. From high school, all the way up until now, all the failed relationships and false hopes. From Wolf to Kazmir, they all come forth at once, but I don't cry. Not this time. Instead, I let my sadness, pain, and frustration seep out into my singing. Letting every event of my life become represented in each verse, in every word. And before I know it, the song has ended and the room is silent. I turn my head to face my sister and the others, did I mess up?

All of a sudden both Erika and Misty stand up to applaud with the band soon following suit.

"That was really good!" Rey tells me as he gives me a hug, "Especially for someone who hasn't sung in a long time."

"You did totally awesome, Edie!" Erika says.

"Yeah, very emotional." Misty adds.

I smile back at them, "Thank you, I was kinda expecting to not do so well."

"And you will with that attitude!" Misty scolds me. "Always have faith in yourself, honey-child!"

"Well, let's keep the good vibes going!" Rey chimes in, "We got another couple hours before we open for lunch."

And that we did. The hours just seemed to tick on by and when it was time to finally stop, my vocal chords and I were exhausted. But that's what happens when you haven't done something in over 10 years. Fortunately, Erika chose to head on back to Daly City until she was due back.

Watching Erika perform live is just as expressive and exhilarating as it was that morning during rehearsal. Maybe even more so during the actual performance because there's no room for error. It gives me newfound respect for my little sister and I wish we had bonded sooner, but better late than never.

Over the next week I prepare for my own show and debut the following Saturday. Despite headlining with my sister, I'll be going on last after her and then Misty. Heh, no pressure there. However, Rey's confident I can hold my own despite being the new girl. He's even prepared an original tune with the more modern electro-swing added to it. He wants me to leave an "everlasting impression" on patrons, but whether or not that'll be a good impression is yet to be seen.

The day of reckoning soon arrives upon me and to say I'm nervous is a simpler way of putting it. I have to arrive early for another one or two dress rehearsals before the rest of the day is spent on hair and makeup.

But the clothing selection... It's all Black Cavalier. Every shoe, accessory, and article of clothing comes from Madison Norfolk's line, and I can't help but think the jewelry is from Tiffany's or somewhere equally as expensive. Since Madison is Misty's little sister, the club gets a hefty discount for advertising the line, but still! All these dresses must be worth several grand in total. I can't help but be awestruck as I peer into the seemingly endless wardrobe. It all reminds me of him...

I feel nothing short of a princess when it's all said and done. All I need now is a crown. The dress is mermaid with the skirt resting above the knee in a black and white checker-plaid pattern. A black sash around my waist becomes layers upon layers on black tulle that forms somewhat of a bustle. The red jewels hanging from my ears and pearls strung around my neck feel exceptionally heavy, maybe it's nerves.

I look back at my dolled up self in the mirror. I look like the old me again, but I feel like a different person completely. I look down at my gloved hands, his ring sparkles brilliantly on my left hand. It feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, but this is the last time I'll carry its mournful significance.

"Edith, you're on next!" Rey calls from the now opened dressing room door. "Be up there in less than 5!"

The idle chatter and clinking glasses behind the velvet curtain is deafening, but I refuse to let my anxiety spike and take control. It's like Misty said - if I have negative thoughts, it'll impact my output. With that in mind I release the breath that I had been holding as I'm introduced.

The curtain pulls back, the stage lights come on, and the contrabass plays its slow, sensual notes.

And I sing.

For the next three and a half minutes, I tell my story and the emotional struggle that followed.

I doubt he can hear me, I know he's not here, but if by some way he is, I hope he's listening.