never be » lrh book one

Chapter 16

D I T C H I N G  &  K I S S I N G

Sam's POV

The next day after school, I confront Ashton about his jealousy. I drag him into my house before he can drive away, and we sit in my living room. At first it's silent, but then I break the silence, my eyes lingering on him.

"I know you like me but... make a damn move, Ashton. You can't just sit there and watch Luke kiss me like that. You need to make moves too. If you genuinely liked me, you wouldn't have cared if the boys saw. You'd have kissed me at the park yesterday." All my emotions come out at once and my filter seems to disappear. I shake my head and take my eyes off him, not wanting to see his reaction.

"I would've. I would right now, even. But guess what? You kissed Luke back. You're his date to homecoming. You go to school with him. I stand no chance." He bites his lip and stares at me. "It's okay, really. I probably shouldn't date a younger girl anyway."

For some reason I'm hurt by his words. I don't know what to say. I can't tell if he can read my hurt, or he just knows that he said the wrong thing. Life is so damn difficult when you're choosing between two amazing guys that just happen to be best friends. I stare at my lap, attempting to think up something to say. Nothing comes to mind.

"I'm sorry, uh. That was bad. I shouldn't have said that." He admitted. I heard him stand up, and due to the movement, I looked up at him. He was closer than I'd thought he'd be. His bright hazel eyes locked with my blue-ish gray ones. "Maybe I should go.." he whispered.

I stood up and grabbed his wrist, refusing to let him leave when we still have this problem. "No. Stay. You can't leave unless we figure this out. Are you going to stop being a dick to me when Luke's around?" I ask stubbornly. Ash groans like a little kid being scolded by his mom.

"Yes, yes. I'll lay off. Just know that Calum and Michael like you, too. You had us all fooled. Except for Luke of course." He sat down beside me on the couch, his wrist still in my hands, but in more of a friendly way. "Calum thinks you're trying to play it off that you like him by being all over Luke. Michael thinks he's going to be the underdog and get you in the end. So tell me, Sam. Who do you like?"

As he told me all this, I felt a sudden wave of guilt. Had I been leading them on? No, I wasn't. I couldn't have been. I was just being playful? Maybe in their heads I was flirting. At this point, I have no idea. But this massive wave of guilt brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know the answer to the question.

"I-I don't k-know. Ash, I w-wanna go h-home." I stuttered, my tears leaking out of my eyes one by one. I think Ashton felt guilty about all this, simply because it was written all over his face. He brought me into a hug and rubbed my back comfortingly.

After awhile, he finally broke the silence. "It's okay to not know. For now, I'll tell all three of them that you don't know who you like, so they shouldn't get their hopes up. Luke included."

"Okay... T-Thank you, Ashton." I clung onto his shirt, staining it with my clear, salty tears. Eventually, when I calmed down, Ashton let go of me and pulled out his phone to send a text to the other three boys. For some odd reason, my heart hurt for the rest of the day.

* * *

The next morning, I drive myself to school. When I get there, Luke, Michael, and Calum are nowhere to be seen. I go to where we usually meet up, assuming they might just be running late. About two minutes before the first bell rings, Luke walks up with two random guys. I've never seen them before, so it's a bit odd when he stops in front of me, his arms crossed.