We are still Beating

Ch. 23

"I'm sorry," I say, stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry." I cry and she pulls me down to her and makes me lay my head on her chest. She winces at first but keeps my head there, running her hands through my hair.

"Hear that? It's still beating," she whispers. I move my head, scared to crush her when she already is having trouble breathing.

"Yes and I'm glad, but I was stupid. I was careless. I should have seen it coming and stayed home from the meeting. You were only just released and I didn't even think to stay with you during the meeting. I didn't think-" I say but she cuts me off.

"Tobias," she whispers, while wiping away my tears.

I shake my head and continue. "-I didn't think of what would happen-"

"Tobias!" She yells now and right after her face contorts as she puts a hand to her bruised neck. I cover her hand with mine.

"Yah?" I whisper.

"Shut up," she says and pulls me down to her and kisses me. I pull away after a little no matter how badly I don't want to. Don't get sidetracked Tobias, a voice says in my head.

"I have to call the doctor," I say starting to stand but resting in a squat with me hand on my knees.

"Yah, I guess. I bet that guy will get sick of seeing me there," she says, in heavy breaths. She lets out a cry while gripping her shoulder, her hand sliding to her back. Oh no.

"No, no, no. Please tell me it's not your back?" I plea. Her cry answers my question. I wish I could kill Marcus over and over for what he did.

"Ok, I'm calling Christina because she will know who to call and who will be here fast," I say getting up. I run to the phone. After what feels like forever, Christina picks up.

"Hello?" she says.

"Christina I got to be quick. Who is the closest and best doctor near here and how can I contact him?" I spit out as quickly as possible.

"Doctor? Four! Are you alright? Wait, Tris! Oh my God tell me she is alright! What happened? Oh who cares, leave it to me I'll call and I'm coming over right after I'm done. Good? Good. Bye," Christina says faster than I thought was humanly possible. I hang up and run back to Tris. She is breathing heavily and she seems on the verge of passing out.

"Christina'a coming with a doctor," I say I in a quiet, soothing voice. She nods slowly. "Close your eyes and rest I'm not going anywhere."

She takes my offer. I bring a pillow and slide it under her head. She isn't fully asleep, but just at peace.

I take this time to better assess her injuries.

You see more bruises on her stomach then skin. She already has dark bruises with swelling near the bottom of her rib cage. I can only hope they aren't broken. She has two dark bruises on her face and one on the side of her throat. Her nose is still bleeding and so is the cut on her collarbone, but it's not too bad. The cut probably hurts me more just because of the thought of someone cutting her- not as much the actual pain of it.

But what cuts deeper into me are the red lashes on her stomach and arms. They are long and I know from experience how they are searing with pain, some of them look worse than others. Tears fall down my cheek as I look at the trails the belt made on her. I bend down and kiss her stomach. A smile that doesn't stretch to her cheeks appears on her face as she reaches to squeeze my hand. I squeeze it back and kiss the back of her palm, too. A little bit of red creeps up her cheeks as they do sometimes when I compliment her or am affectionate towards her.

"You're back must be killing you right now, right?" I say while keeping her hand in between mine. She nods slightly. "Okay, well lying on your stomach isn't really an option, so I'll just sit you up in my lap, alright?" She nods. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," I say before I slide my hand under her shoulders and the other under her legs. I carefully lift her and place her in my lap. The only noise she lets out is a small whimper but other than that she is good. I lean against the side of the couch. I put her head on my chest and I peer around to look at her back.

I almost wish I didn't. It will definitely take a while to heal.

All the stitches on her back and side are torn, leaving both wounds open and bleeding pretty steadily. The skin around the wound is red, and even though I'm not a doctor, I can tell that's not good.

I don't know what is taking the doctor so long but I need to so something for Tris; I can't just let her stay in pain.

"Sorry for moving you but I have to," I say and slide Tris back to the floor next to me. Once she is off me, I

pull off my shirt. For just a moment I see Tris' eyes flutter open and immediate redness flush her cheeks.

"Like the view, Trissy?" I say grinning. I know she hates pet names.

"Shut up, Toby," she says. I chuckle and get up. I run to the kitchen and turn on the cold water. I soak my shirt under it and return back to Tris. I pull her back into my lap and I gently press the shirt to her back. She squeezes my hand when I first touch it to her raw skin but her grip immediately loosens and I know that it is calming the burning of the wounds. I gently rub the towel collecting all the blood I can that surrounds the cuts. After that I just let the cool shirt stick to her back and lean her against me.

"Thank you," she whispers.

"Least I can do," I mutter. I then rip off the sleeve of the shirt and wipe off her collarbone with it. I move to her face and wipe the blood from her nose. When I do, her beautiful eyes stare straight into mine. She leans in and kisses me, holding the back of my neck to keep me against her. She pulls away for air but only a little, so our foreheads are connected and our cheeks brush each others.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper against her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Tobias," she says. "Marcus was not your fault."

"Tris you know it is. He hurt you to get back at me, right?" I say, my voice shaky.

"Tobias," Tris replies with a breathy whisper. I shake my head.

"Don't lie to me Tris," I say sternly.

I get my response with her tear that falls down our pressed cheeks. And I know she can feel the ones escaping my eyes, too.

"Hey don't cry," she says and wipes my tears. She moves my hand to her chest. "Its still beating," she whispers. After a minute, she says "I love you, Tobias. And nothing will ever change that."

"I love you, Tris. And nothing will ever make me leave your side. Ever again," I say with strength in my voice as I promise her and myself that. "And this time I'll actually do that."

"Good," she whispers and I feel her smile against me. "Because as far as I know, it will always just be you and me."

"Us," I say. She pulls away and grins.

"Us."